The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Nick]

Utter shambles of a day 

[apc2010]

Utter shambles of a day 

Brighton again.........

[Steve]

[Nick]

1. Arrive at me lock
2. Another lock keeper is already there
3. He is at the wrong lock
4. He has cycled there
5. I suggest that I drive to the lock he is meant to be at
6. I get there at 9.30
7. I get phone calls en route asking where I am
8. I get there to find a contractor checking leccy safety
9. He is in the lock cabin. Only one person allowed in at a time. He says he will be there ALL DAY
10. I sit outside
11. It pours with rain
12. I call my boss. She is on holiday
13. I call her boss. He is on holiday
14. I call a minion. He says, "Go home"
15. It stops raining
16. Contractor is generally a nice guy but chatty. He tells me he is a semi professional magician.
17. He begins to do magic tricks for me
18. This delays his work.
19. I slowly freeze to death
20. He agrees that if a boat comes he will vacate the cabin
21. A boat comes. He vacates the cabin and turns all the power off

22. Boat stuck in river but cannot talk to him on the radio as the power is cut off
23. Police and Environment Agency raid island in pursuit of illegal Polish carp fishermen
24. Contractor comes back (angler) and chats with plod and EA folk
25. I go home 

[apc2010]

1. Arrive at me lock
2. Another lock keeper is already there
3. He is at the wrong lock
4. He has cycled there
5. I suggest that I drive to the lock he is meant to be at
6. I get there at 9.30
7. I get phone calls en route asking where I am
8. I get there to find a contractor checking leccy safety
9. He is in the lock cabin. Only one person allowed in at a time. He says he will be there ALL DAY
10. I sit outside
11. It pours with rain
12. I call my boss. She is on holiday
13. I call her boss. He is on holiday
14. I call a minion. He says, "Go home"
15. It stops raining
16. Contractor is generally a nice guy but chatty. He tells me he is a semi professional magician.
17. He begins to do magic tricks for me
18. This delays his work.
19. I slowly freeze to death
20. He agrees that if a boat comes he will vacate the cabin
21. A boat comes. He vacates the cabin and turns all the power off

22. Boat stuck in river but cannot talk to him on the radio as the power is cut off
23. Police and Environment Agency raid island in pursuit of illegal Polish carp fishermen
24. Contractor comes back (angler) and chats with plod and EA folk
25. I go home 

 

[Nick]

Tomorrow? Watersports!! What can possibly go wrong?

[apc2010]

Tomorrow? Watersports!! What can possibly go wrong?

 

[Steve]

1. Arrive at me lock
2. Another lock keeper is already there
3. He is at the wrong lock
4. He has cycled there
5. I suggest that I drive to the lock he is meant to be at
6. I get there at 9.30
7. I get phone calls en route asking where I am
8. I get there to find a contractor checking leccy safety
9. He is in the lock cabin. Only one person allowed in at a time. He says he will be there ALL DAY
10. I sit outside
11. It pours with rain
12. I call my boss. She is on holiday
13. I call her boss. He is on holiday
14. I call a minion. He says, "Go home"
15. It stops raining
16. Contractor is generally a nice guy but chatty. He tells me he is a semi professional magician.
17. He begins to do magic tricks for me
18. This delays his work.
19. I slowly freeze to death
20. He agrees that if a boat comes he will vacate the cabin
21. A boat comes. He vacates the cabin and turns all the power off

22. Boat stuck in river but cannot talk to him on the radio as the power is cut off
23. Police and Environment Agency raid island in pursuit of illegal Polish carp fishermen
24. Contractor comes back (angler) and chats with plod and EA folk
25. I go home 

At which point did you work out that Mr Bicycle Clips set you up?

[Nick]

He was apologetic. Not quarrelling with him. Former armed policeman and trained killer 

[apc2010]

He was apologetic. Not quarrelling with him. Former armed policeman and trained killer 

And a cyclepath ............    

[Nick]

 

[apc2010]

See cyclepath ..sounds like  .......psychopath...... ..........

[Steve]

He was apologetic. Not quarrelling with him. Former armed policeman and trained killer 

And a cyclepath ............    

[Just One More]

1. Arrive at me lock
2. Another lock keeper is already there
3. He is at the wrong lock
4. He has cycled there
5. I suggest that I drive to the lock he is meant to be at
6. I get there at 9.30
7. I get phone calls en route asking where I am
8. I get there to find a contractor checking leccy safety
9. He is in the lock cabin. Only one person allowed in at a time. He says he will be there ALL DAY
10. I sit outside
11. It pours with rain
12. I call my boss. She is on holiday
13. I call her boss. He is on holiday
14. I call a minion. He says, "Go home"
15. It stops raining
16. Contractor is generally a nice guy but chatty. He tells me he is a semi professional magician.
17. He begins to do magic tricks for me
18. This delays his work.
19. I slowly freeze to death
20. He agrees that if a boat comes he will vacate the cabin
21. A boat comes. He vacates the cabin and turns all the power off

22. Boat stuck in river but cannot talk to him on the radio as the power is cut off
23. Police and Environment Agency raid island in pursuit of illegal Polish carp fishermen
24. Contractor comes back (angler) and chats with plod and EA folk
25. I go home 

Good that all the murders, rapes, muggings etc have all been sorted then 

[apc2010]

1. Arrive at me lock
2. Another lock keeper is already there
3. He is at the wrong lock
4. He has cycled there
5. I suggest that I drive to the lock he is meant to be at
6. I get there at 9.30
7. I get phone calls en route asking where I am
8. I get there to find a contractor checking leccy safety
9. He is in the lock cabin. Only one person allowed in at a time. He says he will be there ALL DAY
10. I sit outside
11. It pours with rain
12. I call my boss. She is on holiday
13. I call her boss. He is on holiday
14. I call a minion. He says, "Go home"
15. It stops raining
16. Contractor is generally a nice guy but chatty. He tells me he is a semi professional magician.
17. He begins to do magic tricks for me
18. This delays his work.
19. I slowly freeze to death
20. He agrees that if a boat comes he will vacate the cabin
21. A boat comes. He vacates the cabin and turns all the power off

22. Boat stuck in river but cannot talk to him on the radio as the power is cut off
23. Police and Environment Agency raid island in pursuit of illegal Polish carp fishermen
24. Contractor comes back (angler) and chats with plod and EA folk
25. I go home 

Good that all the murders, rapes, muggings etc have all been sorted then 

He was a dangerous poacher then ......