Be careful out there Miss C ...the curse of the VP gardener is très scary
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I will wear a safety helmet steel capped boots and a condom I am sure to be safe.
Where exactly do you plan on wearing the condom?
As miss D says or by the compost whichever seems the most appropriate at the time.
I will be planting out some red orache today, this grown from some seed that happened to fall into my pocket when we visited here http://www.cat.org.uk/ It's Latin name is Atriplex which I cannot take seriously as to me that makes it either an American block of posh flats a small plastic model air plane or something that you put in your trainers.
I don't actually own a pair of trainers.