I DON'T FOOKING BELIEVE IT.
Dr French Lingerie MOdel texts yesterday to say she will be here at 4.00. I have to get an earlier train and then change my mind up and go to a hotel in Bloomsbury.
Now she texts to say her car has broken down IN FOOKING CALAIS
. Can I stay on with Bertie for another night.
NO I CAN'T. I HAVE PUT THE FOOKING KEYS THROUGH THE FOOKING LETTER BOX.
So:
I am in a hotel I needn't be in
SHe is fretting in Calais
Bertie is starving in Islington