These rellies are tighter than a crab's arse. Suggesting going to the pub for lunch would be like asking them to enter the gates of Hades and shout "fvck off" to the Devil.
I have, however, rescued the day.
I have made SOUP!
Part baked rolls have been placed in a warm oven and the table is set for a soup, rolls and cheese lunch. I am a domestic God!
SWWLTBO meanwhile has rushed around in circles, shouted at the children and washed her hair.
She has now seen my preparations and panic has been turned down to Regulo 2