Just thought I'd share my latest text message with ALL of you.
He's in Aberdeen apparently.
Now isn't that great and exciting news everyone ey, isn't it?
My day is now complete with that wonderful and devastatingly important nformation.
I was so worried as to his whereabouts too. Such overwhelming relief is smothering me.
Do I detect a hint of sarcasm there?
That's not like you.
I know, I know. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
Difference is that I'm not even remotely trying to be humourous.
I do however feel that is is my duty to share and provide regular updates of this ever so important information with all of you, that I am so privelidged to receive from his Lordship.
It makes me feel oh so so so important, and I appreciate just how lucky I am.
nick. do me a favour and work that phone of yours right up your arse please