The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Snoopy]

She wants hot drinks
She wants something to read
She wants something to eat (but doesn't know what)

She does not want   and looking at her red eyes, snotty nose and sore upper lip neither do I  

[Nick]

I had a very pretty elderly aunt. She must have been a stunner when young.

I once took my mother there for tea. They were both about 80. AS we left we asked what she would be doing later. I know not why.

SHe replied, "The usual. Hot bath, hot bed, hot drink, HOT BOOK  "

I liked her!

[GROWLER]

Today I shall be mainly running around looking after SWWLTBO who has a cold ................ Only not being a man who gets proper flu she is sniffling and saying she has a headache (and I hadn't any thoughts of  because she is infectious) so is going to stay in bad.
Meanwhile the THW is useless around the house. Smallest boy has to be taken to a Birthday party 25 miles away in Chester.
Party starts at 10.30 am ........... what sort of a moron plans a kid's party for 10.30am on a Saturday?????????????

Question ~ Do I hang around in Chester and wait for him to finish or do I drive home after dropping him off only to turn round and go back to collect him an hour later? SWWLTBO expects me to return to base to see if she is ok  .

Obviously I shall hang around in Chester, probably the most boring place outside of Swindon that I can think of.


And it is pissing down 

Chester? Boring? Ey? How'dya werk that one out then ey, how, exactly like, ey?

I generally speaking like, avoid cities like the plauge, but Chester is actually a very pleasnt one imo.
How the blazes you can even remotely compare it to bloody Swindon is totally and utterly beyond my comprehension, it really is.

Current my walking limit is about 100 yards on the flat. I do not have an electric wheelchair. So what exactly am I to do in Chester that would be exciting, thrilling or even not consist of boringly siting in a fvcking traffic jam caused by Saturday Shoppers all looking for a parking place (that doesn't exist) close to the shops?

All of Chester centre requires that one walks, even disabled drivers cannot enter and park. Other than that I suppose I could go to the Zoo 

Well? Eh? EH?

Chester is exactly like Swindon in that there is fvck all to do except shop, walk round museums (which I can't do) or drive round endless shopping parks of identical warehouse like mega stores all situated on the outskirts. There is no fun in that as one Argos/B&Q/PCWorld/Land of Leather/Next/ToysRUs looks much like another .... especially in the pissing rain.

Anywhoo the Birthday Boy's Mum has said she will bring Minimus back after the party so I was spared the tedium of two hours in Chester in the rain.

Thank you for your concise reply to my searching questions.

Now I /we know.

[Nick]

Growler is an nosey bear 

[GROWLER]

Bored weary bad tempered and sleepy. Been awake since 05:30 hrs.
So, off  to the as ever overly exciting Asda to allow them to save me money(everyday) at 07:00 hrs., god almighty I hate that bloody sales advertising shite, I really do.

Since then, a short nap whilst her ladyship and the exceedingly bad tempered (towards me) MM went out shopping, only to be rudely awoken 30 minutes later upon their rapid return.

Still, I can look forward to an overly and thouroughly exciting afternoon watching the rain piss and batter down against the window, interupted only by short bursts of attempting to work out what exactly I owe the vat man, 1 month @15%, 2 @17.5% plus initial sales cost, plus 5.5% and 7.5% depending on which month the werk was carried out, and of course WHEN or even in fact IF they have paid me too, if not I pay them (vatmen/wimmin) in June.

Strewth I lead one 'ell of a stonkingly exciting life ey, do'ni?

[Nick]

I have a shed 

[Snoopy]

Growler is an nosey bear 

No ~ he was right to ask.

Swindon used to have a pleasant town centre. I've walked, crawled and marched through it many times. FFS I even worked lived and worked there for three years but now it is has mostly been pedestrianised and has the same shops as everywhere else. It had/has some very decent parks (Coate Water) and the Old Town used to be a Victorian delight (in the 1960s) with some really good pubs, tiny shops etc. But that has all changed. Where all the shopping malls and business parks now are was green fields when I lived there. Oh and I had two children born and christened there so I do did know it well. Now the "good bits" have gone as far as I am concerned and it looks like everywhere else. Chester is heading the same way. The walls are nice to look at but not if you can't climb around them and not when it's raining. The shops are much the same shops as you will find in Swindon and the mega Retail and Business parks that encircle the city are identical to every other such. I could equally have compared Chester to Basingstoke (very near where I was born) or, if we are talking old walls, Southampton (where I grew up and knew the walls like the back of my hand). All ruined, I feel, by the planners and developers in the name of progress. The problem I have with this "modernisation" is that they turn the town centres into mini "Disneyland" style tourist attractions and in doing so take the heart out of them.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I won't go back to live in Southampton, Swindon or Basingstoke.

[Just One More]

Still, I can look forward to an overly and thouroughly exciting afternoon watching the rain piss and batter down against the window, interupted only by short bursts of attempting to work out what exactly I owe the vat man, 1 month @15%, 2 @17.5% plus initial cost, plus 5.5% and 7.5% depending on which month the werk was carried out, and of course WHEN or in fact IF they have paid me too, if not I pay them (vatmen/wimmin) in June.

Strewth I lead one 'ell of a stonkingly exciting life ey, do'ni?

Growler, sounds like you need your 'ill

I'm off to the rugby in a few minutes, That's my "me 'ill", a great way of getting rid of the weeks stresses win or lose. Bottom of the Super League, played 6, won 1, lost five, points for = 56, points against 196  

Thank god my love is of the game first and the team second  

[GROWLER]

Still, I can look forward to an overly and thouroughly exciting afternoon watching the rain piss and batter down against the window, interupted only by short bursts of attempting to work out what exactly I owe the vat man, 1 month @15%, 2 @17.5% plus initial cost, plus 5.5% and 7.5% depending on which month the werk was carried out, and of course WHEN or in fact IF they have paid me too, if not I pay them (vatmen/wimmin) in June.

Strewth I lead one 'ell of a stonkingly exciting life ey, do'ni?

Growler, sounds like you need your 'ill

I'm off to the rugby in a few minutes, That's my "me 'ill", a great way of getting rid of the weeks stresses win or lose. Bottom of the Super League, played 6, won 1, lost five, points for = 56, points against 196  

Thank god my love is of the game first and the team second  

I do, but it'll be wet miserable cold foggy muddy slippy sproggy and soggy, and I feel totally knackered.

However, the good news is that the mooses have both gone out again to the mil's, and will not be returning for some considerable time apparently.
MM this evening sometime after a b.d.party or summat, and Mrs G after werk at 16:00 hrs TOMORROW! Bliss!

I may sneek back to me nest, 'ave a quick nap and then 'me 'ill' might beckon.

Growler jnr is out sliding around on skid pan training day today, so I'm all lonely like.

[Snoopy]

Nick is at home but has no trousers. 

[GROWLER]

Nick is at home but has no trousers. 

So?

Nowt suprises or shocks me. He's odd.

[Snoopy]

He wants company ........................... but he has no trousers.

[GROWLER]

He wants company ........................... but he has no trousers.

He'll have to go on wanting then.

WTF's he done with his kecks anyway FFS?
Microwaved them? Expolded? Fed them to the ducks/pidgeons/herons/cat?

Who knows ey, and more importantly, WHO actually cares ey, who?

[Snoopy]

Put some in the cleaners and washed the rest. Then it rained so he is trying to dry them over a radiator.

Meanwhile he can't go to the cleaners in his shreddies. 

[Nick]