The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Snoopy]

No, I am inviting the boys round

'The Boys', my arse.

I bet the place will be 'eavin' with slinky sex godess'all smokin' stuff and drippin' with beads and headbands, with sounds of the 60's playing in the background.

I'd so love to go to one of those again too.

Wouldn't we all?

Anyway let him play host to "the boys" .... things may be a little too  for you.

[GROWLER]

No, I am inviting the boys round

'The Boys', my arse.

I bet the place will be 'eavin' with slinky sex godess'all smokin' stuff and drippin' with beads and headbands, with sounds of the 60's playing in the background.

I'd so love to go to one of those again too.

Wouldn't we all?

Anyway let him play host to "the boys" .... things may be a little too  for you.

I'm just a bit saddened that I'm obviously an embarrasment to have around. Obviously doesn't want common rif raf  snarling around amongst his proper and posh friends..

I'm 'urt and may have to slink off in a sulk for a lickle while.

[Miss Demeanour]

Oh Miss C ....sounds horrendous . Deep breaths 

[Miss Demeanour]

Good news - I have just received this 

This e-mail has been sent to you by HM Revenue & Customs to inform you that we must pay you back 478 GBP.
Please complete all the information to process your refund

Please allow 2 weeks for you money to be availabe in your account. (eg: address, phone)
Total refund amount: 478 GBP

To ensure that your service is not interrupted, we request you to confirm and update your information today by following the link below:

HM Revenue & Customs Confim Refund

Fancy that and me not even asking for it 

[Barman]

Good news - I have just received this 

This e-mail has been sent to you by HM Revenue & Customs to inform you that we must pay you back 478 GBP.
Please complete all the information to process your refund

Please allow 2 weeks for you money to be availabe in your account. (eg: address, phone)
Total refund amount: 478 GBP

To ensure that your service is not interrupted, we request you to confirm and update your information today by following the link below:

HM Revenue & Customs Confim Refund

Fancy that and me not even asking for it 

 

You thought you were going to have a big win!

[Snoopy]

Good news - I have just received this 

This e-mail has been sent to you by HM Revenue & Customs to inform you that we must pay you back 478 GBP.
Please complete all the information to process your refund

Please allow 2 weeks for you money to be availabe in your account. (eg: address, phone)
Total refund amount: 478 GBP

To ensure that your service is not interrupted, we request you to confirm and update your information today by following the link below:

HM Revenue & Customs Confim Refund

Fancy that and me not even asking for it 

 

You thought you were going to have a big win!

HM Rev & Customs have always said they do not notify by email ~ be very wary. Looks like a scam to me ~ and prolly to you too but just in case like.

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I am now beginning to plan my very own media circus.

[Pastis]

Good news - I have just received this 

This e-mail has been sent to you by HM Revenue & Customs to inform you that we must pay you back 478 GBP.
Please complete all the information to process your refund

Please allow 2 weeks for you money to be availabe in your account. (eg: address, phone)
Total refund amount: 478 GBP

To ensure that your service is not interrupted, we request you to confirm and update your information today by following the link below:

HM Revenue & Customs Confim Refund

Fancy that and me not even asking for it 

Well, I'll go to the foot of our stairs! 

I've just received this:

Recent annual calculation of your fiscal activity, we have determined that
you are eligible to receive a tax refund of 431.10 GBP. Please submit
a verified tax refund request and allow us 1-3 days in oder to process it.

A refund can delayed for a variety of reasons. For example
submitting invalid records or applying after the deadline.

Please downloa file attached in email with name "Refund-Form"
for refound the 431.10 GBP

Best Regards,
Bank of Scotland plc,
Registered in Scotland No. SC327000.
Registered Office: The Mound, Edinburgh EH1 1YZ.
Copyright © 2010. All rights reserved.

Note the errors    Must be refund week in Lagos 

[Just One More]

Today I will mostly be trying to coax Mr C down from the top of the walls.

He spoke to the Harridan this morning regarding the funeral.

1.  He was told off for not being around at the weekend to take her calls.  She will not call a mobile number despite his assurances that he would call her straight back.

2. She informed him that she had told Brenda (widow) that Lurkio could not attend as he was too shy.  I will not expect Lurkio to attend his parents funerals merely dance on their graves.

3. She informed him that she had sorted out the flowers and decided which charity to donate money to and that he would comply.

4. She informed him that he was to attend his parents house at 10am and that they would go together.

5. When he informed her that we would make our own way there she expressed surprise and anger that I would be attending. She had in fact informed Brenda that I would not be attending she had already sorted the numbers out and one more would throw the whole thing out of kilter.

6. She informed him that she then had to go as she had to phone the widow to ensure that cheese sandwiches were provided for her and Mr Harridan as they are fish eating vegetarians.

Mr C is in his late 50s and 7 years ago his wife died of cancer.  He has some idea of the trauma that Brenda and her family are going through. The thought of her having to faff around trying to remember sodding cheese sandwiches has sent him just about OTT.  I will go and exert my calming influence.

If anyone from here, in the area on Friday should chance upon a hostelry with a black clad, lone female sitting outside, chewing thoughtfully upon curled up cheese sandwiches, blood upon her hands, it will probably be me.

Ooh, Miss C, nobody needs that sort of crap, just as well you have each other 

[Just One More]

I've been getting those alleged HMRC e-mails for a few weeks now, all went straight to deleted items, unopened

A few months back there was the huge song and dance about HMRC miscalculating peoles tax and many were going to recieve around £1500 back payment, whereas others would have to pay their underpayment. I got my letter last week. Apparently I owe them £1054. BAstards    I've still to check it though as it relates to car and fuel allowances and previous experience has shown they often get them wrong

[Snoopy]

I've been getting those alleged HMRC e-mails for a few weeks now, all went straight to deleted items, unopened

A few months back there was the huge song and dance about HMRC miscalculating peoles tax and many were going to recieve around £1500 back payment, whereas others would have to pay their underpayment. I got my letter last week. Apparently I owe them £1054. BAstards    I've still to check it though as it relates to car and fuel allowances and previous experience has shown they often get them wrong

They almost always get them wrong old chap ..... it's just that when the errors are in the taxpayers favour nobody tells them. 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Today I will mostly be trying to coax Mr C down from the top of the walls.

He spoke to the Harridan this morning regarding the funeral.

1.  He was told off for not being around at the weekend to take her calls.  She will not call a mobile number despite his assurances that he would call her straight back.

2. She informed him that she had told Brenda (widow) that Lurkio could not attend as he was too shy.  I will not expect Lurkio to attend his parents funerals merely dance on their graves.

3. She informed him that she had sorted out the flowers and decided which charity to donate money to and that he would comply.

4. She informed him that he was to attend his parents house at 10am and that they would go together.

5. When he informed her that we would make our own way there she expressed surprise and anger that I would be attending. She had in fact informed Brenda that I would not be attending she had already sorted the numbers out and one more would throw the whole thing out of kilter.

6. She informed him that she then had to go as she had to phone the widow to ensure that cheese sandwiches were provided for her and Mr Harridan as they are fish eating vegetarians.

Mr C is in his late 50s and 7 years ago his wife died of cancer.  He has some idea of the trauma that Brenda and her family are going through. The thought of her having to faff around trying to remember sodding cheese sandwiches has sent him just about OTT.  I will go and exert my calming influence.

If anyone from here, in the area on Friday should chance upon a hostelry with a black clad, lone female sitting outside, chewing thoughtfully upon curled up cheese sandwiches, blood upon her hands, it will probably be me.

Ooh, Miss C, nobody needs that sort of crap, just as well you have each other 

Thanks JOM and Miss D.  I get irritated by her need to control combined with her total lack of foresight, tact and common sense. Neither she nor Mr H are lacking intelligence.  She told me that Lurkio would move into a flat once they were dead.  So somehow, Lurkio has to arrange funerals, clear out their huge house, deal with death duties etc sell a property, purchase and furnish a flat.  All this from a 50 year old man who can't go to his cousins funeral because he is too shy. The whole set up beggars belief.  Sorry rant over.

To make matters even worse I turn my back for five minutes and everything in the garden is covered in greenfly.

[Snoopy]

  Death Duties .... They are worth that much???????

[Barman]

Death Duties .... They are worth that much???????

 

Lend us a fiver Miss C! 

This is confusimicated.... 

We should have Miss C and Miss c.....

Which of you is going to be capitalised like....?

[Miss Demeanour]

Can't we have Miss C and Miss Che like 

I'll never remember capitals