The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Nick]

2. making pies and cakes

[Barman]

2. making pies and cakes

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

2. making pies and cakes
3. sewing

[GROWLER]

2. making pies and cakes

I SAID HOBBIES you freakin' numbskull, NOT yet another excuse to fill your already exceedingly fat wobbly and grossly overloaded jelly belly.

[GROWLER]

2. making pies and cakes
3. sewing

Dare we mention knittin' like, you know, to keep all our GOM guests 'appy like?

[Barman]

2. making pies and cakes
3. sewing

Dare we mention knittin' like, you know, to keep all our GOM guests 'appy like?

[Nick]

Wabbit pie    and cake anyone?

[Barman]

Wabbit pie  , cake and trots anyone?

 

[GROWLER]

Wabbit pie    and cake anyone?

That's a new one, bloody ole HMV that you are.

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Would you like to come?

Last weeks assignment was alternatives. We were not told how many pictures to present. Some people had 20 + others like me had 2. These were to be laid out in front of you so that we could parade around the tables looking at every ones work, all that is except Rebecca. Rebecca is the devil incarnate and as such has no need to print her picutres out like the rest of us.  Oh noes Rebecca places hers on a memory stick.   We did not explain the rational behind our pictures.

Well, today the teacher and I use that term very loosely, wanted us to work in pairs and with someone that we had not worked with before.  I had no problem with this and asked the chap sitting next to me if he was OK working with me.  He agreed.

We were then told that this was to be a 2 week project on 'reflections'. She then told us that as a pair we should do a mind map and held up an A4 sheet of paper with her mind map on it so that we could see what a 'mind map' looked like.   Hers may as well have been blank.

We then had ten minutes or so to make said mind map. At the end of this time I had written down nothing but had learnt about kidney cancer, a fatty lump, the local hospital  after care, breathing difficulties, (he was lucky it was not due to my hands being around his throat) and the number 76 bus.

Just in case we didn't know what reflections were or meant we were shown some photographs.  A sort of power-point presentation of 6 Google pages.  The names of a few well known photographers were thrown in for good measure.

It was at this point that Rebecca said she wanted to show us her pictures.  She inserted her memory card and we then sat through 28 pictures of an engagement ring.  She explained each one to us in the manner of a very irritating weather girl. Using the standard BBC hand movements and with a lot of hair flinging back and ruffling thrown in.

Next it was onto a DVD The Genius of Photography. Slight problem insofar as the sound would not work.  The computer was switched on and off a few times to no avail and teacher went off to find a technical man.  Technical man had gone for the day.  Technical lady turned up 5 minutes later wiggled a wire and lo we had sound.  Don't get me wrong the DVD is very good I watched the programme when it was on the TV it's just that when I used to give presentations etc it was a given that any equipment to be used would be checked out before the start.

Ans so there ended the second lesson.

I will persevere there will be something that will come out of this if only an exhibition of our work put on for free in a vacant shop window. However I cannot promise that Rebecca or the teacher will be alive and well by the end of the course.

Is your teacher Noah?

Mind maps are the biggest no-no in the work place and education now ............ Soooooo last century 

Come over some time ~ Woodstock has a legion of tales about mind maps and their replacement which is called Brainstorming.
Even Microsoft removed their Mind-Map template back in 2003 and replaced it with Brainstorm templates 

As for Power Point ~ even in my day it was known as the crutch of the useless presenter. Anything longer than 6 pages is forgotten before those watching it have left the room.

I don't know what the world is coming to, if you will excuse the pun, obviously nothing.

Ask a man if he would like a blow job and you get a diatribe.  Tsk

[Just One More]

Well I've re-read it a couple of times. I'll never understand women, but I'd hate to think I'd missed out on coded opportunities in the past and need to be more aware in the future like. Just where did you offer a BJ Miss C?

[Nick]

 

[Just One More]

Oh bollocks, I feel such a fool now 

The next time a woman says that to me, I'll know just what to do. What could possibly go wrong 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Just returned from a local 6th form college. The remit was an hours talk on entrepreneurship/ Starting your own photography business.

We were faced with 9 students who apart from one latecomer could barely utter a sentence between them and 2 assistants because most of them had special needs, like having a brain implant!

The latecomer, the only black face in the room, was wearing a hoodie covered in bling and would not shut up as he already had his own business.

The students have no hope of getting a job but are at the college to get a certificate.  Once the boxes have all been ticked child gets bit of paper, college gets loadsa money.

The college is a new build and the wing that we were in was completed last september. The room that we were in had 19 brand new Apple computers all loaded with the latest softwear in all about 20Ks worth of kit, not including the cameras and assorted attachments th wasat were in the 'cupboard' just waiting to be used.

Mr C was way off the mark with his part of the presentation because we had been given the wrong remit (talk to a group of 6th formers who want and are keen  to start their own photography business). I was lucky insofar as I was on second with the Q & A session.

Unfortunately there was no opportunity to accidentally slip one of the Apples into my brief case.