The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[The Moan Ranger]

Guinness in the Stanhope in Gloucester Road :-)

[Nick]

Oh no 

[Nick]

I have just related the foregoing to Woodstock .........................




"Now you know what it must be like being Nick" 

[Barman]

 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

New PIN for my credit card came yesterday ~ since it is a replacement for a forgotten number  I have to go to an ATM to register it, whilst there I thought I'd change the new pin for one I could remember.


So I drive to ASDA, where they are digging up the car park. I manage to park and toddle to the machines. There is of course a queue of people withdrawing £10 each  Have any of them got their card out of their handbags? NO! 

So the queue edges forward.

Now for those unfamiliar with the area ASDA are right next to the sea. All there is twixt me and the Irish sea is the car park and a few sand dunes. AND a squall comes off the sea at gale force 8. I got drenched in icy rain and hail. No point in walking back to the car as I'd have got just as wet crossing the car park into the howling storm.

Eventually I find myself in the front of the queue .... machine doesn't do "PIN Services" 

So I queue for the next machine along. Still in the deluge. Thunder and lightning! 

Wimmin faffing in handbags.

Finally I get another go .... this time the machine does provide "PIN Services"

Job done. Number registered, number changed. Dripping wet I turn away, pocketing my card. Woman behind me says "It's a bugger when you find you've no money left innit?" 

"I have money" I said "I was just registering my card and changing the PIN"

"Course you have deary" she smirks

I FVCKING HATE PEOPLE! 

Back in the car and what happens? Correct ~ The squall blows over and the sun comes out.

THANK YOU GOD! 

I too am having 'one of those days, so far without being drenched and battered by hail, (several times evil)that was yesterday.

We all have them. It seems to me that we in here do actually enter a different time line continuum when we log onto the VP.  We are all working in VP time.

In this particular time line there seems to be 8 days of the week at least one of which is variable and can appear without warning at any time during any of the other days. This day has never had a name before it has just been accepted with stoicism, great grumpiness and a sense of inevitability today however, thanks to Woodstock we have discovered it's name....It is Nickerday.

[Barman]

New PIN for my credit card came yesterday ~ since it is a replacement for a forgotten number  I have to go to an ATM to register it, whilst there I thought I'd change the new pin for one I could remember.


So I drive to ASDA, where they are digging up the car park. I manage to park and toddle to the machines. There is of course a queue of people withdrawing £10 each  Have any of them got their card out of their handbags? NO! 

So the queue edges forward.

Now for those unfamiliar with the area ASDA are right next to the sea. All there is twixt me and the Irish sea is the car park and a few sand dunes. AND a squall comes off the sea at gale force 8. I got drenched in icy rain and hail. No point in walking back to the car as I'd have got just as wet crossing the car park into the howling storm.

Eventually I find myself in the front of the queue .... machine doesn't do "PIN Services" 

So I queue for the next machine along. Still in the deluge. Thunder and lightning! 

Wimmin faffing in handbags.

Finally I get another go .... this time the machine does provide "PIN Services"

Job done. Number registered, number changed. Dripping wet I turn away, pocketing my card. Woman behind me says "It's a bugger when you find you've no money left innit?" 

"I have money" I said "I was just registering my card and changing the PIN"

"Course you have deary" she smirks

I FVCKING HATE PEOPLE! 

Back in the car and what happens? Correct ~ The squall blows over and the sun comes out.

THANK YOU GOD! 

I too am having 'one of those days, so far without being drenched and battered by hail, (several times evil)that was yesterday.

We all have them. It seems to me that we in here do actually enter a different time line continuum when we log onto the VP.  We are all working in VP time.

In this particular time line there seems to be 8 days of the week at least one of which is variable and can appear without warning at any time during any of the other days. This day has never had a name before it has just been accepted with stoicism, great grumpiness and a sense of inevitability today however, thanks to Woodstock we have discovered it's name....It is Nickerday.

NickerDay^TM 

[Nick]

How to make a smoke bomb 

[Pastis]

I should've shared this with you yesterday but I was all in 

Went to a trade show in the morning (3rd in 3 weeks  ) and left around 2:00pm feeling a tad peckish. Thought I'd nip into a Pub for a bite to eat - forget the restaurants in Islington - so found one.  There's the menu and it says "Please ask what sausages are on today!" - I rather fancied bangers 'n' mash, so...

Me: So, what sausages d'you have today?
Bar person (girlie): Err...Yes, we have!
Me: Good! What are they?
Bar person (girlie): Err...I think... Wait please, I come back...
Me: 
Bar person (girlie): Err...Airy teesh. You want?
Me: Excuse me?
Bar person (girlie): Wait please...

Bar girl goes back on phone to the chef presumably 

Bar person (girlie): They are Airy Teege, yes.
Me: Heritage?
Bar person (girlie): Yes! Airy Teege! Very good!
Me: So, is that Pork? or Beef or what?
Bar person (girlie): Err... Wait please...
 

Bar person (girlie): They are Wegetareen. You want?
Me:       Just make it a beefburger, fries and a pint of Fullers 

This is happening every other day now  . 

[Nick]

What is wrong with Airy Teesh? 

Is everyone in London now Russian? 

[Darwins Selection]

On a recent market trip, a pretty young lady was wandering around the crowd with a basket of rolls and sandwiches.
My pal was hungry and pointed at one rool, enquiring what was the filling.

"Cheese and Cheevess" quoth she.

After close examination of the roll, we deduced it was cheese with chives.

[Pastis]

On a recent market trip, a pretty young lady was wandering around the crowd with a basket of rolls and sandwiches.
My pal was hungry and pointed at one rool, enquiring what was the filling.

"Cheese and Cheevess" quoth she.

After close examination of the roll, we deduced it was cheese with chives.

They've got out as far as you?  Where will it end?   

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

On a recent market trip, a pretty young lady was wandering around the crowd with a basket of rolls and sandwiches.
My pal was hungry and pointed at one rool, enquiring what was the filling.

"Cheese and Cheevess" quoth she.

After close examination of the roll, we deduced it was cheese with chives.

They've got out as far as you?  Where will it end?   

Cheddar gorge?  St Chives?  Who knows?

[Barman]

On a recent market trip, a pretty young lady was wandering around the crowd with a basket of rolls and sandwiches.
My pal was hungry and pointed at one rool, enquiring what was the filling.

"Cheese and Cheevess" quoth she.

After close examination of the roll, we deduced it was cheese with chives.

They've got out as far as you?  Where will it end?   

Cheddar gorge?  St Chives?  Who knows?

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Caerphilly.

[Barman]

Caerphilly.

Gloucester - twice...