Today I am at the horsepickle for 4th session of Chemo.
I begin to see why people refer to a "Battle against Cancer".
It ain't the cancer one battles. Rather it is yourself you have to fight to keep attending for treatment that you know will be extremely unpleasant and make you feel like shite. I feel worse after it than I do without it..... and it just goes on and on.
John Diamond (Late husband of Nigella) wrote a couple of books on the subject ~ I am discovering that all he said is true.
And the bugger is there is nothing you can do about it except trust the doctors ~ a group I generally view with deep suspicion.
Both they and the nurses are kind enough and no doubt well meaning but they just never tell you the full truth. It's like some kind of Omerta, questions are evaded, queries unanswered and as a last resort downright lies are told .... all, of course, in the best interests of the patient.
Sorry ~ just pissed off, taking loads of valium to get me through the morning and generally feeling sorry for myself.
