The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Darwins Selection]

Black pudding? 

More likely a baseball bat I fear.

Poor JOM. 

[Baldy]

Miss T is on the piss with Baldy.............

She is just like you......short arms and deep pockets!

[Grumpmeister]

Today I will mostly be trying to get the blood off of the walls.

If you keep extending the patio like this you aren't going to have a garden left Miss C. 

[apc2010]

Miss T is on the piss with Baldy.............

She is just like you......short arms and deep pockets!

I taught her well..........

[Nick]

Got a visitor for the weekend so have been doing a shop at Tesco.

AS I went down the wine asile my feet went from under me and went face first into the floor 

Someone helped me up and I noticed I had trodden in a patch of oil. I went off carefully and informed a Tesco operative 

I then noticed that people were going down like nine pins all over the shop. Tannoy announcements, cleaners rushing about, the lot.

Got to the checkout and moved forward to take my turn. Woman behind me suddenly went, "Whoooooooooooooo......" and clutched at my clothing. We both went down 

ONce we had sorted ourselves out I continued putting my shopping on the belt and came across an empty olive oil bottle in my trolley 

[Barman]

Got a visitor for the weekend so have been doing a shop at Tesco.

AS I went down the wine asile my feet went from under me and went face first into the floor 

Someone helped me up and I noticed I had trodden in a patch of oil. I went off carefully and informed a Tesco operative 

I then noticed that people were going down like nine pins all over the shop. Tannoy announcements, cleaners rushing about, the lot.

Got to the checkout and moved forward to take my turn. Woman behind me suddenly went, "Whoooooooooooooo......" and clutched at my clothing. We both went down 

ONce we had sorted ourselves out I continued putting my shopping on the belt and came across an empty olive oil bottle in my trolley 

[Baldy]

It got posted elswhere due to a gubberama!
But what should have been.. Claims4 idiots.com

[Snoopy]

Got a visitor for the weekend so have been doing a shop at Tesco.

AS I went down the wine asile my feet went from under me and went face first into the floor 

Someone helped me up and I noticed I had trodden in a patch of oil. I went off carefully and informed a Tesco operative 

I then noticed that people were going down like nine pins all over the shop. Tannoy announcements, cleaners rushing about, the lot.

Got to the checkout and moved forward to take my turn. Woman behind me suddenly went, "Whoooooooooooooo......" and clutched at my clothing. We both went down 

ONce we had sorted ourselves out I continued putting my shopping on the belt and came across an empty olive oil bottle in my trolley 

Bless you ~ It's the way you tell 'em! 


Are you OK? Apart from your dignity any damage?

[Nick]

My bum and my left knee hurt 

[Barman]

Did you have to pay for the oil like...? 

[Nick]

I hid the bottle 

[Snoopy]

My bum and my left knee hurt 

Always a problem ~ falling when you pass 25 years of age. It is so unexpected and it seems to hurt more. When you were a kid you'd hardly have noticed.

[Snoopy]

I hid the bottle 

very wise .... sneaky but wise. 

[Snoopy]

I just took Woodstock to Pizza Hut for lunch. No reason ~ just felt like it.

Anyone would think I'd taken her to the Ritz .... wimmin are weird like that, do summat unexpected and they go all silly like.

[Nick]