^^^what he said and did^^^
I remember sitting at the kitchen table and showing my two eldest how to put a condom on a carrot.
They both from that moment on took a packet of condoms and a carrot wherever they went just in case they got lucky.
The most embarrassing event, as far as I can remember was when I was sitting in the lounge one evening no doubt glass of wine in one hand and watching the box, when son entered the room aged about 15 and asked me if he could show me his willy.
I of course said 'yes', he then got 'it' out and pointed to a warty looking thing at the base of it and asked if that was normal. I sneaked a quick look and muttered 'yes of course'.
I live in hope that I was right, he seems healthy thus far. I am glad that he felt he could ask me. I have never seen 'it' since and I can say with authority that he is very well endowed.
As to where I am today, well, I seem to be at sixes and sevens. Dear Mama is coming out of horspickle today. I am trying to get a OT to asses her so that she can get a stair lift inside and a hand rail outside. I am going to spend much time on the phone listening to relaxing music whilst being passed from department to department no doubt.