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Author Topic: The all new "Where are you today?" thread  (Read 3518183 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22860 on: January 30, 2013, 06:51:10 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...

Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22861 on: January 30, 2013, 06:53:00 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...

Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:

Think they have pasted law allowing it now......

Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22862 on: January 30, 2013, 06:55:16 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...

Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:

Think they have pasted law allowing it now......

If it takes as long as the new Pissouri cemetery (or the new drains in our street) I'll be long gone before they spark it up!  lol:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22863 on: January 30, 2013, 07:01:24 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

When previously married I said "Cremate my remains but I would like you to put the ashes in a little box, take them to the seaside, open the lid and gently blow the contents out to sea" ..... Well I figured it was the only way I'd ever get a blow job off the ex wife.

But seriously I am of the compost me following a humanitarian funeral mind. My only firm instruction is that no priest, vicar or 'man of the cloth' is required. I want no-one standing between me and my maker ~ I can speak for myself and if there is no hereafter ....... well it won't matter anyway.
I have tried to donate my body to medical science but they refused me on the grounds that I am too ill. How does that work then? "We only take healthy bodies"  whacky115
I used to have a handle on life but it broke.

Offline Pastis

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22864 on: January 30, 2013, 07:02:01 PM »
Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...
Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:

And what about the poor folk who have to sort it out, eh? Make the decisions etc?   rubschin:
Like the Buddhist said to the hot dog vendor...
"Make me one with everything"

Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22865 on: January 30, 2013, 07:06:56 PM »
Back home ... after two weird days oop North  noooo:

Rail tracks broken ... take the buzzatellya ... train stations with no cab rank  tunble:  ... pub where they look at you as if you've landed from outer space when you ask for a local taxi service ...
Pub with a chalk board saying (in easy to read lower case letters) " fancy a nibble ... try our bread and oil dip "  doh:  Probably an upgrade from bread 'n' dripping.
Bar staff getting every third order wrong   doh:  (ordering drinks for those at the wake ... not just me before you ask)
Being asked three times if my breakfast is to my liking ...  ::) ... Oh, and being told you can eat everything if you like ...  eeek:
Asking for directions and being told the place we want is next to the Seafarer Chippy ... everybody knows where the Seafarer is...  doh:
Wading through police, journalists and cameramen at Crewe station because a politician is about to arrive ...  ::)

Home at last ...   cloud9:

Welcome to my world Mr. sad24:

I have spent most of the day in horsepickle, more of the same tomorrow. sad24:

Tipsy. happy100 happy100 Exploding gums are not fun.
I have always thought that the worst thing about drowning was having to call 'help!' You must look such a fool. It's put me against drowning.
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Offline apc2010

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22866 on: January 30, 2013, 07:15:57 PM »
Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...
Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:

And what about the poor folk who have to sort it out, eh? Make the decisions etc?   rubschin:

There are more worried about the wake......... noooo:

Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22867 on: January 30, 2013, 07:47:33 PM »
Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...
Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:

And what about the poor folk who have to sort it out, eh? Make the decisions etc?   rubschin:

LL knows my wishes...

I'd like to be cremated in the family tradition but I'm fecked if I want to be flown back to the UK in order to do so...  noooo:
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Online Nick

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22868 on: January 30, 2013, 07:52:27 PM »
A BBQ you say? The cats would like the gristly bits  :thumbsup:
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Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22869 on: January 30, 2013, 07:53:40 PM »
A BBQ you say? The cats would like the gristly bits  :thumbsup:

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Offline miss Tchevious

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22870 on: January 30, 2013, 09:04:35 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...

Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:


LL said that we were to secure to a raft and send you out to sea..........next Tuesday.

Offline Baldy

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22871 on: January 30, 2013, 09:06:44 PM »
Apart from werk (which pays the bills) I've been quizzing stonemasons and a certain cemetery (which naturally doesn't pay the bills  ::) )
To say that the pricing structure is arcane would be a gross understatement ...  noooo:
I think when all is set and done I'll file it under black comedy, Six Feet Under comes to mind. How many characters on the inscription? D'you want them hand cut or sandblasted? D'you want gold infill with that or just plain? Is the existing headstone stable?  eeek:  We might need to anchor it ... that'll be another £189.60 - VAT included  eeek:  How much a character?  Shocked:
So, you want another £200 to put a jar in a hole? What if we just do a sort of scatter? Ah! £75... but we can't open it up again? Why would we want to?  scared2:  Because there's space in there for three more  eeek:  scared2:
Oh Lordy... that means I've now got to think seriously about where I want ... er.... yes, you've guessed it.  cry:

Anyone thought / decided yet about where they want their mortal bits to rest?   rubschin:   All I wanted was a price  confused:

Traditionally my lot are cremated.... but there are no crematoria here...

Quite frankly, I will be beyond caring so it doesn't matter to me....  noooo:


LL said that we were to secure to a raft and send you out to sea..........next Tuesday.

Is that a new version of C U next Tuesday? rubschin:

Offline miss Tchevious

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22872 on: January 30, 2013, 09:10:03 PM »
No. ::). It was a joke, if I wanted to call him a cunt I would have done.

Offline Barman

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22873 on: January 31, 2013, 06:28:23 AM »
No. ::). It was a joke, if I wanted to call him a cunt I would have done.

And no swear filter to stop you!  :thumbsup:

Anyhooo... I have some elektickery werk to do today.... but i can't turn the mains off....  scared2:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: The all new "Where are you today?" thread
« Reply #22874 on: January 31, 2013, 06:32:12 AM »
So LL was right then.......... rubschin:

anyhoo off to puter shop to fix laptop n pc n printer .... evil:

then to techy bloke to fix speakers for Miss T...... evil: