The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Just One More]

At the solicitors today to have a signature witnessed. Kerching! That'll be £5 Sir.     Anyhoo, I ran through what it was explaining that my sister had already signed it, she's 100 miles away, offering my passport etc and started to fill in the details. I signed with her peering over me and then comes the bit where she asks me to affirm and repeat the words one by one  ... all done, and she's just about to rubber stamp it when she says:
"Oh, I can't do it."
"Why not?"
"Because there's an assumption that I witnessed your sister's signature, and I didn't"
"I did explain this when I showed you the form... ?"
"Yes... No, but I can't do it now."
 
"So what should we do?"
"I think you'll have to get 2 forms and do them independently ... "
Carefully placing the fiver back in my wallet I leave ... 

On the phone to the Building Soc. whose form it was... explained everything... 
"Could I have 2 more forms please. One for my sister and one for me?"
"Er ... no we can't do that because we've already sent the form out to her"
"But we can't use this one.. the solicitor won't witness it!"
"Er... I see ... er"
"What do we do then?" 
"Well can't you both sign it together?"
"That, my friend is a geographical impossibility right now. We are in two different places"   
" Oh dear"
"So what do you advise we do?"
"Er ... I don't actually know"

Strewth ... bureaucracy buggerybollox 

At this point I have a cunning plan ...
"Hello? I need to tell you something.  I've just spoiled the form. In fact I've spilled coffee all over it and I really can't use it ... "
"Oh dear"
"Could you send out a fresh one? To my sister?"
"Oh. Alright. But if there's a problem with you signing it just put in a covering letter to explain"

     Eh voila!

The moral of the story is NOT to appoint joint executors in your will ... that is unless you're feeling particularly mischievous.

I have an idea to appoint as executors to my will, the serving Prime Minister and his whole Cabinet of Ministers   
It is after all a binding legal document 

  Like it!

[Pastis]

I'm having second thoughts   

How about appointing Gordon Brown and a few other feckers who fecked up my pension! 
Also, there shall be no testamentary expenses as these were purloined from the deceased during his lifetime ... 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I'm having second thoughts   

How about appointing Gordon Brown and a few other feckers who fecked up my pension! 
Also, there shall be no testamentary expenses as these were purloined from the deceased during his lifetime ... 

Good plan Mr P.

[Nick]

I am having wheely bin problems    I may take some round to Gordon Shitting Brown's house, the utter bastard.

[apc2010]

I am having wheely bin problems    I may take some round to Gordon Shitting Brown's house, the utter bastard.

The sierra................

[Nick]

[GROWLER]

Edge Hill University, Ormskerk.

Do NOT piggin' ask.

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I can hear something running around in the space between the ceiling and the floorboards it sounds too heavy to be a mouse and if there is one there are many if you see what I mean.

[Snoopy]

I can hear something running around in the space between the ceiling and the floorboards it sounds too heavy to be a mouse and if there is one there are many if you see what I mean.

More likely to be a squirrel or a pigeon. 

[Snoopy]

Work to be done that involves using Desk Top PC that is NOT www connected so I may be away for a few hours. 



To satisfy any desire to know why it has to be the PC I am doing invoices for Magazine and Village Hall. Two separate Free ware progs that take up too much space to go on the laptop. When I finally move from here I will not want to take these programmes with me and intend to scrap the PC.
AND why no www connection ~ the PC will not accept wireless connection and I don't want an ethernet cable running 10 mtrs from the wifi router.

[Nick]

Being taken out for lunch 

[Snoopy]

Left it a bit late Nick ~ If you'd have said earlier I could have gone to the wrong pub to meet up like. 

[Tipsy Gipsy]

Am halfway through Little Un's ironing.  Against better judgement I am having to cook the washing in the dryer.   

[miss Tchevious]

Apey has just gone on a booze run. I heard the key in the lock after only a few minutes. Walks into the house exclaiming "I've still got my fookin slippers on!".    He was half way down the street when he realisied.
Is this what they call a senior moment?

[Miss Demeanour]

Oh Miss T ....you lucky, lucky woman