The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Steve]

Southend was never a brilliant idea and no one wishes they'd ever thought of it


Oh you meant . . . . . . .  That doesn't work either, tried it once with a plank in hovel when a spotty student.  It spat all over the owners rug, smoke went all over us and the walls and no heat emerged

[Barman]

Southend was never a brilliant idea and no one wishes they'd ever thought of it


Oh you meant . . . . . . .  That doesn't work either, tried it once with a plank in hovel when a spotty student.  It spat all over the owners rug, smoke went all over us and the walls and no heat emerged

 

You needed a telegraph pole like.... 

[miss Tchevious]

We used a massive tree trunk in a restaurant once. You just inch it in every now and then.     Then the chimney on top of the building burst into flames and fell off onto Latchi harbour. That was a fun night.

[Barman]

We used a massive tree trunk in a restaurant once. You just inch it in every now and then.     Then the chimney on top of the building burst into flames and fell off onto Latchi harbour. That was a fun night.

[The Moan Ranger]

Pub no.2. £3.60 for a Guinness and it's a good pint. I am the only person - apart from the barmaid - here. The walls in this pub are also purple - perhaps a local Delboy did them all on the cheap.

Chrome and leather chairs with rows of tables - as I am close to the University, I assume its primary income is derived from Stoooodents who like this sort of thing.
MTV blaring away.

Neon lighting strips.

I'm feeling old!

[Barman]

Pub no.2. £3.60 for a Guinness and it's a good pint. I am the only person - apart from the barmaid - here. The walls in this pub are also purple - perhaps a local Delboy did them all on the cheap.

Chrome and leather chairs with rows of tables - as I am close to the University, I assume its primary income is derived from Stoooodents who like this sort of thing.
MTV blaring away.

Neon lighting strips.

I'm feeling old!

Is she a looker like...? 

[Steve]

Southend was never a brilliant idea and no one wishes they'd ever thought of it


Oh you meant . . . . . . .  That doesn't work either, tried it once with a plank in hovel when a spotty student.  It spat all over the owners rug, smoke went all over us and the walls and no heat emerged

 

You needed a telegraph pole like.... 

Ah!

Okey Dokey I shall write that in my bestest crayon on me cuff so I don't forget.

[nostalgic mode]  eeek:that plank burning shocker was 40 years ago.  Winter of 72/73 stuck in Herne Bay (makes Southend look lovely) freezing cold, getting drunk every other day to keep the suicide urges at bay [/nostalgic mode]

[miss Tchevious]

Pub no.2. £3.60 for a Guinness and it's a good pint. I am the only person - apart from the barmaid - here. The walls in this pub are also purple - perhaps a local Delboy did them all on the cheap.

Chrome and leather chairs with rows of tables - as I am close to the University, I assume its primary income is derived from Stoooodents who like this sort of thing.
MTV blaring away.

Neon lighting strips.

I'm feeling old!

Is she a looker like...? 

I was gonna ask that!!!...........................well, TMR, is she???

[Barman]

Pub no.2. £3.60 for a Guinness and it's a good pint. I am the only person - apart from the barmaid - here. The walls in this pub are also purple - perhaps a local Delboy did them all on the cheap.

Chrome and leather chairs with rows of tables - as I am close to the University, I assume its primary income is derived from Stoooodents who like this sort of thing.
MTV blaring away.

Neon lighting strips.

I'm feeling old!

Is she a looker like...? 

I was gonna ask that!!!...........................well, TMR, is she???

Given that the only bloke she could attract into the place was TMR... prolly not.... 

[The Moan Ranger]

BM - the barmaid reminds me of Shine Head O'Connor - shaved bonce and BIG eyes.

[Barman]

BM - the barmaid reminds me of Shine Head O'Connor - shaved bonce and BIG eyes.

My case rests... 

[Steve]

BM - the barmaid reminds me of Shine Head O'Connor - shaved bonce and BIG eyes.

she could put a wig on with some carpet tape or just add carpet tape and roll her around in the fluff

Shine Head with hair and before those tattoos was just unbelievably gorgeous.  But that was so last century

[Nick]

SHe used to be 

Recent pics suggest she may have gone bovine 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

BM - the barmaid reminds me of Shine Head O'Connor - shaved bonce and BIG eyes.

she could put a wig on with some carpet tape or just add carpet tape and roll her around in the fluff

Shine Head with hair and before those tattoos was just unbelievably gorgeous.  But that was so last century

You are definitely old.

I want a glass of collapso, tis Friday after all.

[Barman]

BM - the barmaid reminds me of Shine Head O'Connor - shaved bonce and BIG eyes.

she could put a wig on with some carpet tape or just add carpet tape and roll her around in the fluff

Shine Head with hair and before those tattoos was just unbelievably gorgeous.  But that was so last century

I bet this one is covered in tats too...

Like this bird...



( I cropped Apey and Baldy from that photo  )