The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Nick]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

 

Welcome to my werld. Still no boiler and car is due in for MOT on Thursday 

[miss Tchevious]

Had a drink. 

Now I need a cigarette. Can anyone give me a lift to the shops?

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Oh good grief we all seem to be between a rock and a hard place.  Group hug not much good but it will feel good.

[Darwins Selection]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

That's a bugger.

Get Growler to give you a second opinion. These things sometimes aren't as bad as they're made out.

Particularly if it's electrical, mechanics run away in my experience.

No I think it's the head gasket.........

I can't speak for modern cars, but that never used to be such a big job.

Get Bucket Bonce to bring his toolbox over and do something useful.

[Barman]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

You should've come down the Ocean Basket! 

[Barman]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

That's a bugger.

Get Growler to give you a second opinion. These things sometimes aren't as bad as they're made out.

Particularly if it's electrical, mechanics run away in my experience.

No I think it's the head gasket.........

I can't speak for modern cars, but that never used to be such a big job.

Get Bucket Bonce to bring his toolbox over and do something useful.

 

[Nick]

Tea and cake on Cow TV 

[miss Tchevious]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

You should've come down the Ocean Basket! 

you didn't invite me, wankoid.

[Barman]

Been out shopping .....(voddy)......got home .....went back out to the car it is pissing water out from underneath...      Mechanic is coming a 9 am ....

Voddy may not last long ...........

Well, may have to stop the diet (even though I have lost half a stone!) but need a drink.

I will explain. My work is seasonal, I work my arse off through the summer and save my money for the quiet winter. This winter, every bloody bill has doubled, then car insurance, car tax, new passport, dentist, etc. We are at the end of the financial drought looking forward to working again and replenishing the pockets, then the mechanic turns up and tells us not to pay him to fix the car, just buy a new one.

Sorry to swear, but we are now fucked. No money and no car. Can I skip the diet today and have a driniki?

 

You should've come down the Ocean Basket! 

you didn't invite me, wankoid.

You know you didn't need an invite spazmong.... 

[Barman]

Gonna walk the dogs (NAE) before it rains like.... 

[The Moan Ranger]

Chatham. Wot a shite hole.

Finally found a cash point and am now holed-up in "The Ship Tavern". I am the only customer. Guinness pretty good and £3.60 a pint. Natives all "hoodies".

[Barman]

Chatham. Wot a shite hole.

Finally found a cash point and am now holed-up in "The Ship Tavern". I am the only customer. Guinness pretty good and £3.60 a pint. Natives all "hoodies".

New phone...?

[The Moan Ranger]

Chatham. Wot a shite hole.

Finally found a cash point and am now holed-up in "The Ship Tavern". I am the only customer. Guinness pretty good and £3.60 a pint. Natives all "hoodies".

New phone...?

My new phone is waiting for me when I get home. There is no "real ale" in this pub - just lagers, cider and Guinness. Heathens.

[Steve]

Chatham. Wot a shite hole.

Finally found a cash point and am now holed-up in "The Ship Tavern". I am the only customer. Guinness pretty good and £3.60 a pint. Natives all "hoodies".

Gillingham's worse

[The Moan Ranger]

It appears I'm actually in Rochester - the 2 minute walk to the pub took me out of Chatham. The landlord is a 26 year old Polish vegetarian. I'm not making this shit up. When I asked him what Chatham was like he growled "Chatham is OVER THERE. Rochester is far nicer".

I told him there are lots of Polish working at Gatwick and most were lazy. He seems to have taken offence at that. Good Guinness, mind.