The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Barman]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

[Barman]

Sitting in the sunshine with a cup of tea and reading a book... 

[Steve]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

How changed round?  Nod's now in bed with Miss C's bowels and she's out and about with his leg?

Sounds most irregular I must say

[Darwins Selection]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

How changed round?  Nod's now in bed with Miss C's bowels and she's out and about with his leg?

Sounds most irregular I must say

That's bowels for you. 

[Grumpmeister]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

It's the get out of lunch with Nick bingo sweepstake... 

[apc2010]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

It's the get out of lunch with Nick bingo sweepstake... 

 

[Steve]

All change. Miss C reports she is in bed with her bowels. Nod is not in bed with his leg, so all changed around.

How changed round?  Nod's now in bed with Miss C's bowels and she's out and about with his leg?

Sounds most irregular I must say

That's bowels for you. 

[Grumpmeister]

Been dealing with hordes of hormonal wimmin dragging their other halves to watch the new Fifty Shades of Shite film 

[Steve]

Been dealing with hordes of hormonal wimmin dragging their other halves to watch the new Fifty Shades of Shite film 

It's got terrible reviews.  This one from the Times:

"It is the sort of sex farce one imagines Sir Les Patterson, or at least someone very Australian, might have directed."

[Grumpmeister]

It's been fun watching the reactions of the people as they are leaving. The men generally look miserable and have a thousand yard stare and the women are giggling embarrassedly at having wanted to watch such utter shite. Apparently the credits include a trailer for the third one in the series to be released on Valentine's day 2018. My comment about it being made of what they found on the cutting room floor for the last 2 films didn't go down well. 

[Barman]

Dear Mr. Ford,

Why on Earth would you make it so bleeding difficult to replace an effing air filter??? 

Yours sincerely,

A. Customer

[Grumpmeister]

Dear Mr A. Customer

I'm sorry that you have found it difficult to change the air filter, in most cases we have designed these to be simple to remove. However further research into the problem has shown that you are also known as Mr Baldymort or Mr Barmong. If this is the case, for the sake of safety I implore you to get a man in.

Yours sincerely

Mr Ford.

 

[Barman]

Dear Mr A. Customer

I'm sorry that you have found it difficult to change the air filter, in most cases we have designed these to be simple to remove. However further research into the problem has shown that you are also known as Mr Baldymort or Mr Barmong. If this is the case, for the sake of safety I implore you to get a man in.

Yours sincerely

Mr Ford.

 

 

Two bolts, ten Torx screws and a spring clip! 

[Grumpmeister]

Dear Mr A. Customer

I'm sorry that you have found it difficult to change the air filter, in most cases we have designed these to be simple to remove. However further research into the problem has shown that you are also known as Mr Baldymort or Mr Barmong. If this is the case, for the sake of safety I implore you to get a man in.

Yours sincerely

Mr Ford.

 

 

Two bolts, ten Torx screws and a spring clip! 

Is that for the air filter or to hold the bucket in place? 

[Barman]

Dear Mr A. Customer

I'm sorry that you have found it difficult to change the air filter, in most cases we have designed these to be simple to remove. However further research into the problem has shown that you are also known as Mr Baldymort or Mr Barmong. If this is the case, for the sake of safety I implore you to get a man in.

Yours sincerely

Mr Ford.

 

 

Two bolts, ten Torx screws and a spring clip! 

Is that for the air filter or to hold the bucket in place?