The all new "Where are you today?" thread

[Nick]

I am in talks 

[Steve]

Insurance policy

My funeral will be more like a circus 

  The final opportunity to do what the fuck you like and not have to listen to the Tut Tutters

Have you picked the music yet?  Please say you haven't even if you have.  I get sick of conversations with my contemporaries about what music they're having at their funerals.

I tell them I'm going out to Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

[Nick]

Sorting that out with the Jewish (atheist) Vicar.

[Steve]

Suzi calls to inform me that she is en route to a funeral 

Additionally, the deceased's son's cat has dislocated its hip and Suzi is going to do some "spiritual healing" on it after the cremation!  I seem to be living in an increasingly bonkers world. She also informed me that , waking early, she had "sent" me some spiritual healing in the early hours.    I wondered what that lump of ectoplasm was doing in my bed.

Isn't this the Suzi last heard of hurrying off to be humped by Herman the German?

[Grumpmeister]

Insurance policy

My funeral will be more like a circus 

  The final opportunity to do what the fuck you like and not have to listen to the Tut Tutters

Have you picked the music yet?  Please say you haven't even if you have.  I get sick of conversations with my contemporaries about what music they're having at their funerals.

I tell them I'm going out to Fire by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

Highway to hell by AC/DC

[Nick]

Suzi calls to inform me that she is en route to a funeral 

Additionally, the deceased's son's cat has dislocated its hip and Suzi is going to do some "spiritual healing" on it after the cremation!  I seem to be living in an increasingly bonkers world. She also informed me that , waking early, she had "sent" me some spiritual healing in the early hours.    I wondered what that lump of ectoplasm was doing in my bed.

Isn't this the Suzi last heard of hurrying off to be humped by Herman the German?

No. she of my recent fireworks in a graveyard triumph 

[Steve]

Suzi calls to inform me that she is en route to a funeral 

Additionally, the deceased's son's cat has dislocated its hip and Suzi is going to do some "spiritual healing" on it after the cremation!  I seem to be living in an increasingly bonkers world. She also informed me that , waking early, she had "sent" me some spiritual healing in the early hours.    I wondered what that lump of ectoplasm was doing in my bed.

Isn't this the Suzi last heard of hurrying off to be humped by Herman the German?

No. she of my recent fireworks in a graveyard triumph 

  I get confused

[Nick]

How do you think I feel?

[Grumpmeister]

Bollocks!!! 

Just found out it's International Coffee Day this weekend and I can't go to any of the events because of work.   

https://internationalcoffeeday.org

[Steve]

Bollocks!!! 

Just found out it's International Coffee Day this weekend and I can't go to any of the events because of work.   

https://internationalcoffeeday.org

Doesn't look like you're missing much.  Drive 50 miles to get free cup of coffee?   

[Nick]

Tesco have coffee

[Steve]

Tesco have coffee

So do Starbucks and half a million coffee houses nearer than the nearest International Coffee Day event

[boogs]

We had a lovely coffee here yesterday 
https://www.aunevalleymeat.co.uk/valley-view-cafe/

Got the meat as well 

[Grumpmeister]

Bollocks!!! 

Just found out it's International Coffee Day this weekend and I can't go to any of the events because of work.   

https://internationalcoffeeday.org

Doesn't look like you're missing much.  Drive 50 miles to get free cup of coffee?   

If I'd known in advance I'd have been networking with the Cornish Coffee Company to have an event in town... 

[Barman]

We had a lovely coffee here yesterday 
https://www.aunevalleymeat.co.uk/valley-view-cafe/

Got the meat as well 

Oh yes...?