Next to me lock is a field of cows
A dog walker mentioned to me earlier that one of the cows was behaving strangely and seemed to be stuck in a hedge.
I called the farmer who turned up on a quadbike
He slapped the cow's arse a few times and it reversed out of the hedge, staggered off and fell over
I asked him what was wrong
It's pissed. Been eating potatoes from the adjacent field apparently and some sort of fermentation process inside had got it drunk