Are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin...
In the pub there is a legend called Snakey, so called because he only drinks Snakebite and is the only person allowed to do so. Friday night - as usual - he was hammered and doing his falling asleep whilst standing at the bar trick. He does it regularly. At chucking out time, the bar staff usually gently wake him and he toddles off home. It's happened dozens of time.
There is an temporary assistant manager in pub who is South African and possibly the most arrogant, rude and downright fuckwitted person I have ever met. Nobody, including all the staff, like him. On Friday night, he decided to show his rank and power by getting Snakey out - not with the usual little nudge and a few kind words, though, no he shook him, shouted at him and then snatched the remains of his pint away.
Snakey is 5 foot 4 and as tough as they come. He is also
generally more placid than a Panda on mogadon. But this treatment irked him and he flew into a rage and would have torn him to shreds had a couple of the regulars not jumped in to hold him back (not easy, he's strong as an ox) and the Saffa ran behind the bar and got one of his barmen to go out and try and throw Snakey out. The barman in question is a lovely big Latvian bloke and he held Snakey whilst the Saffa LOCKED himself behind the bar and called the police. Eventually evenn the big Latvian couldn't hold him and so another of the barmen went out and helped and then managed to walk Snakey home before the rozzers arrived. Snakey is barred.
Not only barred, but the staff have been told that if he sets foot inside the premises they must phone the police immediately.
Everyone who came in the pub yesterday who didn't know was asking "Where's Snakey?" When told he had been barred, their reaction was the same to a man "You can't bar Snakey, he's a legend". One of the roofers asked the Saffa about the incident and immediately the Saffa starting talking down to him saying things like "You are questioning my authority" and "You stick to roofing and let me run a pub". I thought the roofer was going to go over the bar and kill him. It's not just what he says, it's
the way he says it. He simply should not be dealing with public.
I said to him as much and he said he "couldn't care less what the regulars think"...
Anyhoo...passions were obviously running high and we had arranged a pre-Christmas drink for loads who can't always get down regularly. We paid ?28 for a few plates of sandwiches and stuff. At 9 o'clock, the sandwiches arrived. 1 plate. About 20 quarters of sandwich. For ?28. We remonstrated with the Saffa who totally ignored us. "If you don't like it, go to the Wetherspoon".
At about 11, there was a little incident in the Saloon bar involving the boyfriend of Sam, one of the barmaids. Our Saffa went out and - in his own inimitable style - dealt with the situation. And go head-butted for it
He ran behind the bar and called the police again. Four people went round to the head-butter and offered to buy him a drink
Mrs TMRBB told him it is time for him to move on - he has an awful lot of people who are after him.
