Latest teenage rant thread.

[Barman]

Here, here 

Oh and as for a present to take .....no longer is a £10 voucher for the usual places acceptable..as this is her BFF forever she wanted to buy her a particular perfume - £45 

Let me guess... that new posh 'n becks one...? 

[Miss Demeanour]

Oh no ...thats prolly in the bargain bin already 

Some Ralph Lauren one

[Barman]

Oh no ...thats prolly in the bargain bin already 

Some Ralph Lauren one

Oh... 

[Snoopy]

We all miss Woolies ..... they used to do a good line in teenager suitable scent. bout 50 pence a litre to judge from the way they all used to bathe in it.

[Miss Demeanour]

The photo shoot party seems to have been a success as far as I know  but today it continues  .....they have to go back to the place today to look through the pics and decide on which ones they want to purchase.

I am not going 

[Barman]

The photo shoot party seems to have been a success as far as I know  but today it continues  .....they have to go back to the place today to look through the pics and decide on which ones they want to purchase.

I am not going 

This will end in tears for sure... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Oh yeah...or a restraining order 

[Barman]

Oh yeah...or a restraining order 

 

[Miss Demeanour]

I have just had a phone call from the Brat

" Mum , do you know where  my house keys are "

Me ...sitting at work unable to teleport myself back home ( I know ...how feckin useless am I    ) calmly replies
" Well  , you were first home last night  so when you got in what did you do with them.? ....They are not in the kitchen or living room , so therefore must be in a bag, jacket pocket, or perhaps the local tip that is your bedroom "

"You're making me late for school" she shouts

I put the phone down

 

[Barman]

I have just had a phone call from the Brat

" Mum , do you know where  my house keys are "

Me ...sitting at work unable to teleport myself back home ( I know ...how feckin useless am I    ) calmly replies
" Well  , you were first home last night  so when you got in what did you do with them.? ....They are not in the kitchen or living room , so therefore must be in a bag, jacket pocket, or perhaps the local tip that is your bedroom "

"You're making me late for school" she shouts

I put the phone down

 

Oh gawd... 

[Darwins Selection]

I have just had a phone call from the Brat

" Mum , do you know where  my house keys are "

Me ...sitting at work unable to teleport myself back home ( I know ...how feckin useless am I    ) calmly replies
" Well  , you were first home last night  so when you got in what did you do with them.? ....They are not in the kitchen or living room , so therefore must be in a bag, jacket pocket, or perhaps the local tip that is your bedroom "

"You're making me late for school" she shouts

I put the phone down

 

It isn't just young ladies, once when Mrs DS#2 was visiting her sister in Harlow, she phoned me to say she couldn't remember where she had left her car in the multi-storey.

I found myself unable to offer a constructive response and got an ear-full when mild sympathy alone was not enough.
 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

I have just had a phone call from the Brat

" Mum , do you know where  my house keys are "

Me ...sitting at work unable to teleport myself back home ( I know ...how feckin useless am I    ) calmly replies
" Well  , you were first home last night  so when you got in what did you do with them.? ....They are not in the kitchen or living room , so therefore must be in a bag, jacket pocket, or perhaps the local tip that is your bedroom "

"You're making me late for school" she shouts

I put the phone down

 

It isn't just young ladies, once when Mrs DS#2 was visiting her sister in Harlow, she phoned me to say she couldn't remember where she had left her car in the multi-storey.

I found myself unable to offer a constructive response and got an ear-full when mild sympathy alone was not enough.
 

Oh dear.

Tis the start of the weekend if that is any consolation.

[Snoopy]

 

This morning Madam decided to not get up until ten to eight. The school bus leaves at 8.30. At 8.15 she is still pissing about eating her breakfast. She is not dressed.
At 8.25 she decides to wash her hair. At 8.40 she is still occupying the bathroom. I am waiting to shower, the boys are waiting to shower and her mother, who starts work at 10 also wants to shower. At 8.50 she grandly announces that the bathroom is now free ..... oh and can one of her parents get dressed to drive her to school or she will be late By 9.00 SWWLTBO has showered, dressed and is loading the little darling into her car. I am fecking fuming. I now discover that she has brought downstairs a heap of washing up, from her bedroom and left it on the kitchen counter, immediately above the dish washer which was sat open waiting for things to be put in it.
Her mother has just telephoned me to tell me that the little madam has stated that she can't wait to leave home and go to uni "Because Daddy obviously doesn't want me here" ~ I'll fecking kick her fat arse her when she gets back this evening. Time for a few home truths I feel.

[Barman]

This morning Madam decided to not get up until ten to eight. The school bus leaves at 8.30. At 8.15 she is still pissing about eating her breakfast. She is not dressed.
At 8.25 she decides to wash her hair. At 8.40 she is still occupying the bathroom. I am waiting to shower, the boys are waiting to shower and her mother, who starts work at 10 also wants to shower. At 8.50 she grandly announces that the bathroom is now free ..... oh and can one of her parents get dressed to drive her to school or she will be late By 9.00 SWWLTBO has showered, dressed and is loading the little darling into her car. I am fecking fuming. I now discover that she has brought downstairs a heap of washing up, from her bedroom and left it on the kitchen counter, immediately above the dish washer which was sat open waiting for things to be put in it.
Her mother has just telephoned me to tell me that the little madam has stated that she can't wait to leave home and go to uni "Because Daddy obviously doesn't want me here" ~ I'll fecking kick her fat arse her when she gets back this evening. Time for a few home truths I feel.

Indeed Snoopy...

I don'#t envy you that conversation tho... 

[Nick]

This morning Madam decided to not get up until ten to eight. The school bus leaves at 8.30. At 8.15 she is still pissing about eating her breakfast. She is not dressed.
At 8.25 she decides to wash her hair. At 8.40 she is still occupying the bathroom. I am waiting to shower, the boys are waiting to shower and her mother, who starts work at 10 also wants to shower. At 8.50 she grandly announces that the bathroom is now free ..... oh and can one of her parents get dressed to drive her to school or she will be late By 9.00 SWWLTBO has showered, dressed and is loading the little darling into her car. I am fecking fuming. I now discover that she has brought downstairs a heap of washing up, from her bedroom and left it on the kitchen counter, immediately above the dish washer which was sat open waiting for things to be put in it.
Her mother has just telephoned me to tell me that the little madam has stated that she can't wait to leave home and go to uni "Because Daddy obviously doesn't want me here" ~ I'll fecking kick her fat arse her when she gets back this evening. Time for a few home truths I feel.

Perhaps she could cycle to school, like