TV Licence tosspots

[Nick]

Right.

The prevous occupants of House 2 have had TVs and a licence. I have no TV and therefore no licence.

I have received a stream of threatening letters about this all of which I have ignored. Today's post brings:

OFFICIAL WARNING: WE HAVE OPENED AN INVESTIGATION

This btw is printed on the outside of the fooking envelope, just to let posty know 

I think, "Fook them", but I call Bristol and find myself speaking, inevitably, to Tracey.

I say, I have no TV

Wait for it.........................


















She says, "Why not?"
 

Let them come round in an armed raid! 

[Barman]

I'd ignore it and wait 'til they turn up looking for the telly... 

[Nick]

There are 2 tellies here but they don't werk. I have just cut the plugs off! 

[Barman]

There are 2 tellies here but they don't werk. I have just cut the plugs off! 

I'm not sure they'll be convinced by that... 

[Nick]

The small one is in the bin, the ancient mahoosive one won't fit.

Let them try to watch it 

[Barman]

The small one is in the bin, the ancient mahoosive one won't fit.

Let them try to watch it 

I don't think they can demand access to your home anyway can they...?

[Nick]

I believe there are blogs about this. Wasn't that twat Noel Edmunds refusing to pay at some point?

The letter says "out Enforcement Division"  (do they wear camouflage clothing?) will schedule a visit. They can go eat their pants!

[Barman]

I believe there are blogs about this. Wasn't that twat Noel Edmunds refusing to pay at some point?

The letter says "out Enforcement Division"  (do they wear camouflage clothing?) will schedule a visit. They can go eat their pants!

I'd cover yourself by writing them a latter (registered) stating that you have no telly... 

[GROWLER]

I got nicked and fined 60 snotters 18 years ago for having a B&W licence with a colour telly.
Got away with it for nearly 20 years, so I thoiught that was still actually quite good value for money tbqatd'h.

[Barman]

I got nicked and fined 60 snotters 18 years ago for having a B&W licence with a colour telly.
Got away with it for nearly 20 years, so I thoiught that was still actually quite good value for money tbqatd'h.

Analogue was it...?

[GROWLER]

I got nicked and fined 60 snotters 18 years ago for having a B&W licence with a colour telly.
Got away with it for nearly 20 years, so I thoiught that was still actually quite good value for money tbqatd'h.

Analogue was it...?

Oh yes. 

Still got a b&w in werking condition in the loft too. Must dig it out. Could be werth a fortune now.

[Barman]

I got nicked and fined 60 snotters 18 years ago for having a B&W licence with a colour telly.
Got away with it for nearly 20 years, so I thoiught that was still actually quite good value for money tbqatd'h.

Analogue was it...?

Oh yes. 

Still got a b&w in werking condition in the loft too. Must dig it out. Could be werth a fortune now.

You'll have to buy a special analogue licence for it tho - your current licence has been automatically upgraded to digi like... 

[Miss Demeanour]

Can't you call Stanley round to fix your TV's Nick 

[Snoopy]

I am sure my intervention will not be welcome but the law is quite clear. Plug on or not if you have a television receiver in the premises then you MUST have a licence for it. Doesn't matter that it does not work. That is the law. Stupid I am sure but never the less your local magistrates will not be interested in the whereabouts of the plug.

As for access to your home ~ Sorry BM but you are way out of date. They can most certainly access your home and can call upon the assistance of the police if you attempt to stop them. They do not need a search warrant anymore.

Just a couple of the new offences out of the 3600+ that Labour have put on the books in 12 years. Compare that figure with the 464 new offences placed on the books by the Conservatives between 1988 and 1996

[Nick]

Mahoosive TV now written off. I enjoyed breaking the screen. It implodes spectacularly. I have always wanted to do that