Diverting water supplies

[Nick]

So the upstairs bozzit is overflowing through the overflow pipe. I decide it needs a new ballcock thingy, but the retaining nut is locked solid. CLoser inspection reveals that the ballcock is fine and that water is leaking into it via a leaky washer. This is complicated 

There is no isolating stopcock. 

Solution? Reduce water pressure by running all the cold taps in the house all night and all day.

It's like living inside fooking Niagara Falls 

[Miss Demeanour]

Or you could get a man in 

[Nick]

Or you could get a man in 

At a weekend? 

[Miss Demeanour]

Or you could move 

[Nick]

 

[Snoopy]

Having suffered such annoyances over the years as I slowly replace each water related item in this house I am ensuing that each and every one has an isolation valve. I can now isolate each individual tap (hot and cold), cistern and central heating component.

The only way you can deal with your immediate problem is to turn off your main stop cock, sort out the cistern and, whilst you are at it, fit an isolation valve to the inlet pipe feeding it.

Mind you, it will soon be somebody else's problem, so bollix to long term solutions. Call a plumber and get the immediate difficulty resolved.
Tell him to send the bill to the landlord. 

[Nick]

In the meantime I live inside Niagara 

[GROWLER]

Turn the water off at the stopcock then.

There WILL be one. Building regulations.

[Nick]

Of course you great furry plankmouse, but that also cuts off ALL the water in the house. I am surrounded by idiots 

[GROWLER]

Of course you great furry plankmouse, but that also cuts off ALL the water in the house. I am surrounded by idiots 

What's the problem? Simply turn it back on briefly when you need some water, or fill up a barrel or something. I don't know. Use what little bit of intelligence you actually possess.

You have the absolute CHEEK to call US idiots?
Beggars belief.

[Nick]

As my civil partner you might help out with a wrench 

Bad husband 

[GROWLER]

Our water pressure went up alarmingly this week. Nearly blew a hole in the sink!

Rang up Un-united Uselessutilities, and they checked the local supply, rang me back and said it was normal as far as they were concerned.
I suggested they double checked before the mains blew.
They informed me that no one else had complained.
I suggested that I'm surrounded by neighbourly 'bone idle, couldn't give a toss' sloaths

Strangely enough, the pressure was back to normal within 24 hours.

[GROWLER]

As my civil partner you might help out with a wrench 

Bad husband 

Will you kindly PISS OFF with these extremely annoying comments of yours. I don't find them funny...AT ALL.

[Nick]

 

[Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)]

Is your water being metered?  Moping up other peoples shite is a not a nice job.