Today's plan was that SWMBO was going over to Lincs to visit her mother, taking children with her and leaving me in peace for the day.
SWMBO has gone, taking daughter but leaving two boys in my care, both have sore throats and "sniffles".
All I had planned to do is now gone by the board, SWMBO has taken nothing from the freezer for me to feed them on, I shall probably now catch their cold. My day is fvcked
I have asked the boys what their mother suggested about lunch ~ "She said you would probably take us out for lunch"
SWMBO has telephoned to say "We are not there yet but I thought I'd let you know we will be later than planned in getting there because there has been a pile-up near Nottingham and we are being diverted"
When I replied that I didn't actually give a stuff what time she got there and had she not telephoned I would have been none the wiser she seemed a little "put out".
"I thought you would be worried about us being caught up in the accident"
"But, my dear, there are fvcking accidents all over the country, I am in North Wales, how the hell would I know about an accident near Nottingham?"
"I thought you would have heard about it on the radio"
"What radio station are you listening to in your car my sweet?"
"Radio Trent of course ~ how else would I get the local traffic reports?"
"Whilst you are there did you tell the boys I would be taking them out to lunch or are the cunning little sods trying it on?"
"Oh yes ~ I thought you would enjoy some quality time together"
I deemed it best to hang up at that point before the conversation turned toward divorce settlements, lawyers, custody of children etc.
Quality time is not sitting in McDonalds with two snuffling, sneezing little boys.
Quality time is sitting in the pub with The Sunday Times, a pint of Best Bitter and a Sunday Roast in front of me as planned.
