Not hard Nick ~ I've been there.
Tis true that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and your rejection of her demands to return home count as scorn to her.
It was when I said thanks but no thanks that things got really nasty with Mrs S#1. That she had been the one that ran off with another and lived with him for six months somehow became my fault. Apparently she hadn't actually wanted to live with him, share his bed etc etc but she wanted to show me that I was, in her opinion, behaving wrongly. Like you I was holding down a job, doing the housework, cooking, washing, ironing, getting the two kids off to school and all the rest BUT I was not showing her a good time. I was less than attentive, I was THINKING about having an affair (so she claimed), I was unreasonable, I didn't like her friends, I wasn't interested in her job (She worked in M&S ffs!) and worst of all I never talked about my job or what I did at work and that was "suspicious". The other little bone of contention was that my earnings paid for the house, food and clothing for the family. I also ran a car (she couldn't drive) and paid for holidays and the like. Her income was her money and how dare I question where it went.
I could go on but you get the picture.
