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Quote from: Nick on August 10, 2010, 08:49:01 AM The ALchemist is very very funny That open 24 hours then?
The ALchemist is very very funny
ACT 1. SCENE 1.1. A ROOM IN LOVEWIT'S HOUSE. ENTER FACE, IN A CAPTAIN'S UNIFORM, WITH HIS SWORD DRAWN, AND SUBTLE WITH A VIAL, QUARRELLING, AND FOLLOWED BY DOL COMMON. FACE. Believe 't, I will. SUB. Thy worst. I fart at thee. DOL. Have you your wits? why, gentlemen! for love— FACE. Sirrah, I'll strip you— SUB. What to do? lick figs Out at my— FACE. Rogue, rogue!—out of all your sleights. DOL. Nay, look ye, sovereign, general, are you madmen? SUB. O, let the wild sheep loose. I'll gum your silks With good strong water, an you come. DOL. Will you have The neighbours hear you? will you betray all? Hark! I hear somebody. FACE. Sirrah— SUB. I shall mar All that the tailor has made, if you approach. FACE. You most notorious whelp, you insolent slave, Dare you do this? SUB. Yes, faith; yes, faith. FACE. Why, who Am I, my mungrel? who am I? SUB. I'll tell you., Since you know not yourself. FACE. Speak lower, rogue. SUB. Yes, you were once (time's not long past) the good, Honest, plain, livery-three-pound-thrum, that kept Your master's worship's house here in the Friars, For the vacations— FACE. Will you be so loud? SUB. Since, by my means, translated suburb-captain. FACE. By your means, doctor dog! SUB. Within man's memory, All this I speak of. FACE. Why, I pray you, have I Been countenanced by you, or you by me? Do but collect, sir, where I met you first. SUB. I do not hear well. FACE. Not of this, I think it. But I shall put you in mind, sir;—at Pie-corner, Taking your meal of steam in, from cooks' stalls, Where, like the father of hunger, you did walk Piteously costive, with your pinch'd-horn-nose, And your complexion of the Roman wash, Stuck full of black and melancholic worms, Like powder corns shot at the artillery-yard. SUB. I wish you could advance your voice a little. FACE. When you went pinn'd up in the several rags You had raked and pick'd from dunghills, before day; Your feet in mouldy slippers, for your kibes; A felt of rug, and a thin threaden cloke, That scarce would cover your no buttocks— SUB. So, sir! FACE. When all your alchemy, and your algebra, Your minerals, vegetals, and animals, Your conjuring, cozening, and your dozen of trades, Could not relieve your corps with so much linen Would make you tinder, but to see a fire; I gave you countenance, credit for your coals, Your stills, your glasses, your materials; Built you a furnace, drew you customers, Advanced all your black arts; lent you, beside, A house to practise in— SUB. Your master's house! FACE. Where you have studied the more thriving skill Of bawdry since. SUB. Yes, in your master's house. You and the rats here kept possession. Make it not strange. I know you were one could keep The buttery-hatch still lock'd, and save the chippings, Sell the dole beer to aqua-vitae men, The which, together with your Christmas vails At post-and-pair, your letting out of counters, Made you a pretty stock, some twenty marks, And gave you credit to converse with cobwebs, Here, since your mistress' death hath broke up house. FACE. You might talk softlier, rascal. SUB. No, you scarab, I'll thunder you in pieces: I will teach you How to beware to tempt a Fury again, That carries tempest in his hand and voice. FACE. The place has made you valiant. SUB. No, your clothes.— Thou vermin, have I ta'en thee out of dung, So poor, so wretched, when no living thing Would keep thee company, but a spider, or worse? Rais'd thee from brooms, and dust, and watering-pots, Sublimed thee, and exalted thee, and fix'd thee In the third region, call'd our state of grace? Wrought thee to spirit, to quintessence, with pains Would twice have won me the philosopher's work? Put thee in words and fashion, made thee fit For more than ordinary fellowships? Giv'n thee thy oaths, thy quarrelling dimensions, Thy rules to cheat at horse-race, cock-pit, cards, Dice, or whatever gallant tincture else? Made thee a second in mine own great art? And have I this for thanks! Do you rebel, Do you fly out in the projection? Would you be gone now?
WTF is this shite ey?
Quote from: GROWLER on August 10, 2010, 09:03:09 AMWTF is this shite ey? That shite and the ability to not only have read it but also to understand it, my dear boy, is why you and I have had to get dirty hands to earn a living and Nick can rake it in sitting on his arse talking to people.
Quote from: Snoopy on August 10, 2010, 09:07:25 AMQuote from: GROWLER on August 10, 2010, 09:03:09 AMWTF is this shite ey? That shite and the ability to not only have read it but also to understand it, my dear boy, is why you and I have had to get dirty hands to earn a living and Nick can rake it in sitting on his arse talking to people.That'll be why he's got a fat arse to match his fat 'ed then I suppose?
Quote from: GROWLER on August 10, 2010, 09:09:56 AMQuote from: Snoopy on August 10, 2010, 09:07:25 AMQuote from: GROWLER on August 10, 2010, 09:03:09 AMWTF is this shite ey? That shite and the ability to not only have read it but also to understand it, my dear boy, is why you and I have had to get dirty hands to earn a living and Nick can rake it in sitting on his arse talking to people.That'll be why he's got a fat arse to match his fat 'ed then I suppose? Nature's way of keeping him in balance I s'pose
