Strange and useless things.

[Snoopy]

Like I said ~ that's why Chefs tend to tear lettuce leaves.

[GROWLER]

I Googled it

Lettuce Knife?

Serrated plastic lettuce knife.

If you cut through lettuce with a metal knife, natural oxidisation turns the edges brown.

This serrated plastic knife leaves verdant green lettuce, with no waste.

But then the Chef in me says NEVER CUT A LETTUCE ~ ALWAYS TEAR IT WITH YOUR FINGERS

The CHEF in me sez 'go the chippy'.

[Pastis]

I Googled it

Lettuce Knife?

Serrated plastic lettuce knife.

If you cut through lettuce with a metal knife, natural oxidisation turns the edges brown.

This serrated plastic knife leaves verdant green lettuce, with no waste.

But then the Chef in me says NEVER CUT A LETTUCE ~ ALWAYS TEAR IT WITH YOUR FINGERS

The CHEF in me sez 'go the chippy'.

 

[Just One More]

The CHEF in me sez 'go the chippy'.

  

[Nick]

Pastis reminds me that I "won" a little gizmo which cuts cucumbers into the shape of those springy slinky thingies. The ones that climb down stairs. Why?

[Snoopy]

Lakeland Plastic make a fortune out of selling such gadgets. About the only places I have seen vegetables/fruit cut and served in these exotic styles is at presentations for time share holidays or in the piccies in those brochures for cruises with improbably named shipping companies who offer a "Chef's deluxe buffet on arrival".

I think the Hyacinth Buckets of this world buy them.

[GROWLER]

What's wrong with just stuffing the nosh on a plate just as it is, off the tree or from the ground, whatever, and simply diving in and eating it.

Far too much time wasted on all this fancy pants decoration malarky crap.
Jusst get it down yer neck, no messin', horns an' hoofs included.

Like these bloody wretched 'drizzles' that some retaurants put on your dinner plates.
WTF is THAT all about ey, what?  
Bloody tossers.

It's a bit like all these car showrooms I have to visit in me job.
Millions spent on decorating them with all the latest gizmos and coorporate image shite, matching cups and bloody saucers, fresh skones and crumpets, FFS, I just want to buy a bloody car at the best price, not come on bloody holiday here.

Pass me a blue and white tin mug full of yer best sludge, and let's get down to business man! 

[Pastis]

I have solved the problem 

What problem? I hear you ask. The problem of enzyme-catalysed oxidation, otherwise known as the browning of lettuce leaves cut by a steel knife. The solution offered up by commerce and marketing was to provide a plastic knife which would not cause the oxidation and thus to promulgate (I do like that word) the manufacture, use of valuable materials, time, energy, manpower into the production of the Lettuce Knife.

What a waste of time. The real solution is far easier and requires no special equipment. It goes straight to the heart of the matter ~ 

Take the head of lettuce, cut by the steel knife and douse it under a cold running tap for a couple of seconds and then shake dry. The deposits left by the cutting knife will be washed down the drain. I've tried it with an Iceberg lettuce over the last few nights and no browning has occurred. Clean, fresh and crisp.

Next?

[Miss Demeanour]

How much time do you have on your hands   

[Pastis]

How much time do you have on your hands   

I just have curiosity in the kitchen, honest 

[GROWLER]

Oh bloody 'ell Pasty.

Personally speaking I just lob the lettuce into the 'utch and let nature take its course.

[Barman]

Oh dear, oh dear Pastis... 

[GROWLER]

Lettuce actuallty fits into the thread titla quite well don't you think?

I mean WHO can actually honestly say that it's tasty ey? WHO? 

[Pastis]

Look at this way you Philistines 

If you were running a restaurant and determined to cut costs one of the areas you'd be looking at would be wastage. Discarding 10% of the lettuce because it's brown is waste; to reduce that waste is to increase profit .... ok? 

[Barman]

Look at this way you Philistines 

If you were running a restaurant and determined to cut costs one of the areas you'd be looking at would be wastage. Discarding 10% of the lettuce because it's brown is waste; to reduce that waste is to increase profit .... ok? 

So... you have a new restaurant then, eh.... EH?