Bastards!

[Barman]

Woken at god-knows-what o'clock this morning by a text message...

Lept out of bed assuming bad news (LL's mother is in a coma now) only to find this: -

CONGRATS! Your mobile num has Won u500,000,00GBP in the NOKIA UK PROMO. Email your name & num to our London office...

Utter bastards! 

[Darwins Selection]

Woken at god-knows-what o'clock this morning by a text message...

Lept out of bed assuming bad news (LL's mother is in a coma now) only to find this: -

CONGRATS! Your mobile num has Won u500,000,00GBP in the NOKIA UK PROMO. Email your name & num to our London office...

Utter bastards! 

Never mind, now you have all that money, you can pay someone to look after your mobile and only wake you if it is urgent.

[Barman]

Woken at god-knows-what o'clock this morning by a text message...

Lept out of bed assuming bad news (LL's mother is in a coma now) only to find this: -

CONGRATS! Your mobile num has Won u500,000,00GBP in the NOKIA UK PROMO. Email your name & num to our London office...

Utter bastards! 

Never mind, now you have all that money, you can pay someone to look after your mobile and only wake you if it is urgent.

 

I hadn't thought of it that way Darwin! 

How are turnip futures?

[GROWLER]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

[Barman]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

[Darwins Selection]

How are turnip futures?

Looking up.  

I can help you invest some of your winnings. . .

[Bar Wench]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

[Barman]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

[Bar Wench]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

We are velly velly solly won't happen again 

[Barman]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

We are velly velly solly won't happen again 

And did it...?

[Bar Wench]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

We are velly velly solly won't happen again 

And did it...?

What do you think! I had to make about six phone calls, during the last one I ended up asking to speak to supervisor and then their supervisor etc. After 20 mins I ended up having a shouting match with someone and after that never had another call.

[Barman]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

We are velly velly solly won't happen again 

And did it...?

What do you think! I had to make about six phone calls, during the last one I ended up asking to speak to supervisor and then their supervisor etc. After 20 mins I ended up having a shouting match with someone and after that never had another call.

 

I'll see what happens tonight like...

[Grumpmeister]

I'd be ringing them up and giving them absolute hell if I was you, in fact, apparently, so it's rumoured like, I think I probably qualify for being of the right material to ring 'em up for you.

I thought of that but it is problee one of those nine hundred Pounds a minute numbers so they completely screw you while patiently listening to your ranting! 

I used to call them from my work phone to complain. 

 

And what did the bastards say?

We are velly velly solly won't happen again 

And did it...?

What do you think! I had to make about six phone calls, during the last one I ended up asking to speak to supervisor and then their supervisor etc. After 20 mins I ended up having a shouting match with someone and after that never had another call.

Im other words you ended up speaking with the agent sat next to hum, then the next agent along etc...

[Nick]

Some twat called Tracey Mullins called from Bangalore earlier about some survey.I asked her for her real name.

[Barman]

No more prize-winning text messages thankfully...