The all new "I may have cancer" thread

[Darwins Selection]

Been brooding about this since Friday and now time to share. Had loads of blood tests a while back and one has come back showing signs of cancer. Appointment at local specialist horsepickle (Growler will know where) later this week for scans and suchlike. NO sympathy required. Just part of the wear and tear of life I guess!

Murrayfield or Arrowe Park?

http://www.ccotrust.nhs.uk/

Glad it's not Murrayfield. 

This is gingerbread man we are talking about.

That is exactly where he would end up.

Also, if they decide any treatment is needed, he should make sure to write HERE in indelible ink on the selected part of his body. 

[GROWLER]

Been brooding about this since Friday and now time to share. Had loads of blood tests a while back and one has come back showing signs of cancer. Appointment at local specialist horsepickle (Growler will know where) later this week for scans and suchlike. NO sympathy required. Just part of the wear and tear of life I guess!

Murrayfield or Arrowe Park?

http://www.ccotrust.nhs.uk/

Of course.

I was going to say 'good luck', but you won't actually need it, as you are WELL 'ARD and anything that tries to get the better of you will be in for a the big heave ho.

[Nick]

Well, that wasn't TOO bad. Loads of blood tests. Scan. Some dye. No results yet. Have to call tomorrow and go back Monday, or call. All a bit vague. Someone calls tomorrow, I gather.

[Barman]

Well, that wasn't TOO bad. Loads of blood tests. Scan. Some dye. No results yet. Have to call tomorrow and go back Monday, or call. All a bit vague. Someone calls tomorrow, I gather.

 

[Nick]

They did measure me 

[Barman]

They did measure me 

 

[Nick]

Results "inconclusive". The scans show nothing but they are still fretting about some blood reading and want to "keep an eye" on me. More blood offered up today  I think I have an empty arm    I am certainly black and blue. and I hate needles. 

More results later in the week.

[Darwins Selection]

Results "inconclusive". The scans show nothing but they are still fretting about some blood reading and want to "keep an eye" on me. More blood offered up today  I think I have an empty arm    I am certainly black and blue. and I hate needles. 

More results later in the week.

Probably good news.

If they cant find the main signs it means they have some other abnormal indicator which might, under some circumstances, indicate cancer.

They will bugger about and worry you for several weeks more, before deciding you have a slight thyroid/liver/spleen/ulcer problem or are borderline diabetic/anaemic/asthmatic/menopausal/senile.

Carry on as what passes for normal in Nick-world is my advice and take whatever medication they give you. 

[Uncle Mort]

Question
What does the word inconclusive mean in a doctor's report?

Answer
As in a non-medical sense, the term refers to a question or issue that has not been fully resolved.

In a doctor's report, this means that tests have not shown up an exact diagnosis or have not confirmed or denied what was being tested for.

It means no one is exactly sure of an exact answer in the capacity the term is used, eg if a report says 'blood tests have been inconclusive' it means these have not shown up anything helpful. I hope this helps you.

Yours sincerely

Dr Roger Henderson, GP


Well thanks Roger, that was inconclusive.

[Nick]

There is a very strong family history of thyroid and diabetes problems which I have told them about. They are now checking on those. It seems they are related  

Oh, and DS, it's "can't" 

Thanks anyhoo. I have even had a solicitous Growlergram^TM from Venice!

[Darwins Selection]

Oh, and DS, it's "can't" 

It is indeed.

A keystroke carelessly missed, I abase myself. 



BTW, shouldn't it be " about which I have told them. " ? 

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

 

[Nick]

And how is your stupid toe?

[Barman]

And how is your stupid toe?

Not painful at all...