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Author Topic: Mishaps  (Read 6042 times)

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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #15 on: June 27, 2010, 12:57:06 PM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger on June 27, 2010, 12:39:34 PM
Years ago, I was at my brother's and we were well oiled - to say the least. He and his wife went to bed but I decided to have another. I fancied a large Bushmills, so found the bottle and luckily found a whiskey tumbler on the worktop. I poured a very large, large one, drank it (tasted a bit funny though) and went to bed.

In the morning my sister-in-law asked where the tumbler containing her contact lenses (in saline) had gone  redface:

I offered to let nature takes its course and return them. She declined.

I bet you saw your arse for that one.  ;)
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Offline Barman

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #16 on: June 27, 2010, 01:00:16 PM »
Quote from: The Moan Ranger on June 27, 2010, 12:39:34 PM
Years ago, I was at my brother's and we were well oiled - to say the least. He and his wife went to bed but I decided to have another. I fancied a large Bushmills, so found the bottle and luckily found a whiskey tumbler on the worktop. I poured a very large, large one, drank it (tasted a bit funny though) and went to bed.

In the morning my sister-in-law asked where the tumbler containing her contact lenses (in saline) had gone  redface:

I offered to let nature takes its course and return them. She declined.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #17 on: June 27, 2010, 06:16:33 PM »
I thoughtfully informed Growler of Miss D's unfortunate mishap  angel1

His reply in full:

"Hahahahahahahahahahahah, lmfco!!! Poor old trout. Did she mistake it for make up remover? Absolute class. Off to bomb some turds over a local crouts tent now, must dash."
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Offline Miss Demeanour

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #18 on: June 27, 2010, 06:26:30 PM »
How can one man possibly be so refined  ? noooo: noooo: noooo:
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #19 on: June 27, 2010, 07:51:22 PM »
It certainly beggars belief Miss D. BTW do you have a clue what he is on about?  PM me if you do. ;)
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Offline Pastis

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #20 on: June 27, 2010, 08:44:57 PM »
 lol: lol:
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #21 on: June 30, 2010, 09:26:29 AM »
Growler has perfected the "Bouncing Turd"?  eeek:


Zee war vill be over before Christmas!

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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #22 on: June 30, 2010, 04:45:18 PM »
Maybe Nick mis-heard and it was a bouncing Kurd.



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Offline Grumpmeister

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #23 on: June 30, 2010, 05:20:51 PM »
The instructor on the first aid course I was on told us of a horrific mishap he saw when one of us asked him about resetting dislocated limbs. He'd been playing rugby and one of his team mates had been tackled hard, dislocating his femur so they decided to reset it while waiting for the ambulance. (For those of a nervous disposition or male I've whited this next bit out, if you do want to read it just highlight it.)  Unfortunately they managed to trap one of his testicles in the joint At that point the poor bugger started screaming so loudly he ripped his larynx.  eeek:

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Offline Barman

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #24 on: June 30, 2010, 06:34:26 PM »
 sick2:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #25 on: June 30, 2010, 06:50:19 PM »
 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003 shocked003
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Offline Snoopy

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #26 on: June 30, 2010, 07:08:18 PM »
Hey ~ I like that whiting out trick ~ how d'you do dat den?


PM me the secret please.
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Offline Miss Creant Commander of the picklement and baking BAb(Hons)

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #27 on: June 30, 2010, 08:21:16 PM »
Not worried about the poor chaps bollocks then Snoops. lol:
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #28 on: June 30, 2010, 09:14:17 PM »
Quote from: Grumpmeister on June 30, 2010, 05:20:51 PM
The instructor on the first aid course I was on told us of a horrific mishap he saw when one of us asked him about resetting dislocated limbs. He'd been playing rugby and one of his team mates had been tackled hard, dislocating his femur so they decided to reset it while waiting for the ambulance. (For those of a nervous disposition or male I've whited this next bit out, if you do want to read it just highlight it.)  Unfortunately they managed to trap one of his testicles in the joint At that point the poor bugger started screaming so loudly he ripped his larynx.  eeek:



Was he playing for Dorking? - it's just that we had a similar event about 20 years ago when I was playing. I've never heard a man scream like that. It chilled me to the bone.

Similarly, on another occasion, a chap took a good blow to the gentleman vegetable area. Massive swelling ensued and by the time St. John turned up his sack was the size of a melon.  they had no choice other than to relieve the pressure. He howled a bit too.

I gave up rugby shortly after.
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Offline Barman

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Re: Mishaps
« Reply #29 on: July 01, 2010, 04:27:06 AM »
Quote from: Snoopy on June 30, 2010, 07:08:18 PM
Hey ~ I like that whiting out trick ~ how d'you do dat den?


PM me the secret please.

Oh it is quite simple... you just change the text colour yo white...  ;)
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