Fresh from the Inbox

[Baldy]

A drunk man who smelled of beer sat down on a bench next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered
with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your
fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."

The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”, then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"



The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."

 

[Baldy]

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in.
Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out, I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?"

Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow? .........

"What . ... . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"

 

[The Moan Ranger]

Michael Barrymore said its great news that Tom Daley is gay, he said its great to finally meet someone who takes it up the arse and can swim.

[Barman]

Michael Barrymore said its great news that Tom Daley is gay, he said its great to finally meet someone who takes it up the arse and can swim.

[Baldy]

Michael Barrymore said its great news that Tom Daley is gay, he said its great to finally meet someone who takes it up the arse and can swim.

 

[miss Tchevious]

Michael Barrymore said its great news that Tom Daley is gay, he said its great to finally meet someone who takes it up the arse and can swim.

 

[Just One More]

 

[apc2010]

there was  competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have intercourse wins..................



So BM entered himself..............

[Barman]

there was  competition yesterday - The first person to successfully have intercourse wins..................



So BM entered himself..............

 

[Nick]

http://unlooker.com/airline-pulls-amazing-christmas-stunt-passengers/ 

[Barman]

http://unlooker.com/airline-pulls-amazing-christmas-stunt-passengers/ 

How lovely.... 

WestJet Christmas Miracle: real-time giving

I bet those lazy fuckers at Gatwick don't do anything like that..... 

And I bet the guy that asked for socks and underwear feels as sick as a parrot! 

[The Moan Ranger]

http://unlooker.com/airline-pulls-amazing-christmas-stunt-passengers/ 

How lovely.... 

WestJet Christmas Miracle: real-time giving

I bet those lazy fuckers at Gatwick don't do anything like that..... 

And I bet the guy that asked for socks and underwear feels as sick as a parrot! 

I think you'll find it was the airline,  not the airport. ..

[Barman]

http://unlooker.com/airline-pulls-amazing-christmas-stunt-passengers/ 

How lovely.... 

WestJet Christmas Miracle: real-time giving

I bet those lazy fuckers at Gatwick don't do anything like that..... 

And I bet the guy that asked for socks and underwear feels as sick as a parrot! 

I think you'll find it was the airline,  not the airport. ..

 

[Nick]

Those tiny boots 

[Just One More]

Sad news at the Nestle Chocolate Factory today. A Pakistani was seriously injured when a pallet of white chocolate fell more than 50 feet and crushed him. He tried in vain to attract attention but every time he shouted:- "The milky bars are on me." Everyone just cheered.