Fresh from the Inbox

[Just One More]

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" She asked.
"No, kneasles.” It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess... small cocks

[Barman]

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" She asked.
"No, kneasles.” It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess... small cocks

 

[Steve]

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. They opened the champagne and began undressing. When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.
"I had tolio as a child," he answered.
"You mean polio?" she asked.
"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."
When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked
"What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"
"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained.
"You mean measles?" She asked.
"No, kneasles.” It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."
The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.
As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.
"Don't tell me," she said.
"Let me guess... small cocks

 

[Steve]

Kim Jong-Un announced at a News Conference that North Korea would be sending a Man to the Sun within Ten Years...!

A BBC Reporter said - "But Mr. Kim the Sun is too hot. How can your Man land on the Sun”..???

There was a stunned silence. Nobody knew how to react.

Kim Jong-Un quietly answered "We will Land at Night”.

The gathering and everyone in North Korea watching on their Televisions broke into thunderous applause.

Back in Washington, The Trump and his entourage were watching the news conference when The Trump heard what Kim said, he sneered - "What a f*cking idiot. Everybody knows there’s NO Sun at night.”

His office and everyone working in the vicinity broke into thunderous applause.

[Steve]

and  . . . . .

During a lull at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a lovely Parrot for his Birthday. That Bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words"...

“Very Impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words". He doesn't really understand what they all mean.”

"Oh, I Know That", replied Melania,

“But neither does the Parrot".

[apc2010]

and  . . . . .

During a lull at a White House dinner, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with Secretary of State, Tillerson.

"I bought Donald a lovely Parrot for his Birthday. That Bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words"...

“Very Impressive," said Tillerson, "but, you do realize he just speaks the words". He doesn't really understand what they all mean.”

"Oh, I Know That", replied Melania,

“But neither does the Parrot".

 

[Steve]

POLITE NOTICE - PLEASE READ
- A warning to all
Be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas and police are out checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks and one thing led to another and I had a few too many voddies and then went on to tequila.
Not a good idea!
Knowing I was over the limit I decided to leave my car in town at NCP and took a bus home. I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and doing breath tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved me past.
I arrived home safely and no accident, which was a real surprise because I have never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from!!

[Steve]

An Irish farmer had two horses and couldn’t tell them apart… …so they tied a ribbon to one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the horse pulled off the ribbon, so then they shaved the mane of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the mane grew back, so then they cut the tail off of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the tail grew back.

So finally, they measured, and they found the white horse was 6 inches taller than the black horse.

[Barman]

An Irish farmer had two horses and couldn’t tell them apart… …so they tied a ribbon to one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the horse pulled off the ribbon, so then they shaved the mane of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the mane grew back, so then they cut the tail off of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the tail grew back.

So finally, they measured, and they found the white horse was 6 inches taller than the black horse.

[apc2010]

An Irish farmer had two horses and couldn’t tell them apart… …so they tied a ribbon to one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the horse pulled off the ribbon, so then they shaved the mane of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the mane grew back, so then they cut the tail off of one of the horses and for a time, they could tell them apart.

But then the tail grew back.

So finally, they measured, and they found the white horse was 6 inches taller than the black horse.

 

[Nick]

Muslim lady on radio phone in about sex education of children by parents.

Interviewer "do you find it difficult to answer your daughter's questions about sex".

Lady "not at all, she can ask me anything and I will give her an answer. I don' hide behind the bush"

[apc2010]

Muslim lady on radio phone in about sex education of children by parents.

Interviewer "do you find it difficult to answer your daughter's questions about sex".

Lady "not at all, she can ask me anything and I will give her an answer. I don' hide behind the bush"

 

[Steve]

Muslim lady on radio phone in about sex education of children by parents.

Interviewer "do you find it difficult to answer your daughter's questions about sex".

Lady "not at all, she can ask me anything and I will give her an answer. I don' hide behind the bush"

 

[Barman]

Muslim lady on radio phone in about sex education of children by parents.

Interviewer "do you find it difficult to answer your daughter's questions about sex".

Lady "not at all, she can ask me anything and I will give her an answer. I don' hide behind the bush"

 

[Darwins Selection]

Muslim lady on radio phone in about sex education of children by parents.

Interviewer "do you find it difficult to answer your daughter's questions about sex".

Lady "not at all, she can ask me anything and I will give her an answer. I don' hide behind the bush"