Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 788850 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4890 on: March 01, 2019, 01:27:17 PM »
Total cost to taxpayers revealed today to be over half a billion!!! He deserves to be whipped through the streets. cussing: cussing: cussing: cussing:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4892 on: March 01, 2019, 02:40:27 PM »
I sent this to the cvnt. He makes Diane Abbott look competent  noooo:
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Offline Nick

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4896 on: March 04, 2019, 10:58:44 PM »
Please be aware!!! We ordered a Chinese takeaway last night from a local place (I won't name them) and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ..A Peeking Duck!
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4897 on: March 05, 2019, 05:09:08 AM »
Please be aware!!! We ordered a Chinese takeaway last night from a local place (I won't name them) and as I was driving home, I heard the bags rustling and moving!! I thought what the hell is that. Has something got in the bag, I thought I could see a little pair of eyes peering out at me. I was driving so I leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenger seat and there it was again, more rustling and little eyes looking out behind the prawn crackers, I thought its got to be a rat or a mouse or something, so I carefully pulled the bag down ...

And there it was ..A Peeking Duck!

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4898 on: March 05, 2019, 07:21:36 AM »


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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4899 on: March 05, 2019, 09:38:40 AM »
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4900 on: March 05, 2019, 09:58:07 AM »
Just burnt the pancakes. They’re so black and thin I’m expecting Bono to turn up and sing them a fucking song.

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4901 on: March 05, 2019, 10:03:28 AM »
Just burnt the pancakes. They’re so black and thin I’m expecting Bono to turn up and sing them a fucking song.

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Offline Steve

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Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4903 on: March 07, 2019, 11:52:19 PM »
Affs?  (search says no)

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaimed "So YOU are the great Lone Ranger..!"

"In honour of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request..?'

The Lone Ranger responds "I'd like to speak to my Horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening Silver returns with a beautiful Blonde Woman on his back.

As the Chief watches, the Blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

"You have a very fine and loyal Horse. But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request..?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the Horse's ear.

As before, Silver disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous Brunette, more attractive than the Blonde.

She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.

"You are indeed a man of many talents but I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request..?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my Horse, alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him squarely in the Eyes and says,

"READ MY LIPS...!

FOR... THE... LAST... BLOODY... TIME... "

"BRING POSSE"
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #4904 on: March 08, 2019, 05:07:29 AM »
Affs?  (search says no)

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.

The Indian Chief proclaimed "So YOU are the great Lone Ranger..!"

"In honour of the Harvest Festival, YOU will be executed in three days."

"Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"

"What is your FIRST request..?'

The Lone Ranger responds "I'd like to speak to my Horse."

The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear and the horse gallops away.

Later that evening Silver returns with a beautiful Blonde Woman on his back.

As the Chief watches, the Blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

"You have a very fine and loyal Horse. But I will still kill you in two days."

"What is your SECOND request..?"

The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse.

Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the Horse's ear.

As before, Silver disappears over the horizon.

Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous Brunette, more attractive than the Blonde.

She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.

The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed.

"You are indeed a man of many talents but I will still kill you tomorrow."

"What is your LAST request..?"

The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my Horse, alone."

The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent.

Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him squarely in the Eyes and says,

"READ MY LIPS...!

FOR... THE... LAST... BLOODY... TIME... "

"BRING POSSE"

 lol: lol: lol:
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