Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 791036 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5340 on: October 28, 2019, 10:49:57 PM »
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'There might be something extra in it for you,' says The Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
'Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the Cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.
The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief:
'Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5341 on: October 28, 2019, 10:52:39 PM »
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'There might be something extra in it for you,' says The Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
'Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the Cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.
The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief:
'Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'

 ;D ;D Thumbs:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5342 on: October 28, 2019, 11:20:46 PM »
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'There might be something extra in it for you,' says The Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
'Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the Cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.
The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief:
'Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5343 on: October 28, 2019, 11:45:31 PM »
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'There might be something extra in it for you,' says The Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
'Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the Cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.
The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief:
'Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5344 on: October 29, 2019, 06:57:55 AM »
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, and he doesn't travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?'
'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican , and I'd really like to drive today.'
'I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
'There might be something extra in it for you,' says The Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
'Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license,' moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
'So bust him,' says the Chief.
'I don't think we want to do that - he's really important,' said the Cop.
The Chief exclaimed, 'All the more reason!'
'No, I mean really important,' said the cop.
The Chief then asked, 'Who have you got there, the Mayor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
Chief:
'Governor?'
Cop: 'Bigger.'
'Well,' said the Chief, 'Who is it?'
Cop: 'I think it's God!'
Chief: 'What makes you think it's God?'
Cop: 'He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!'

 ;D ;D Thumbs:
lol: lol: lol:

lol: lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5345 on: October 29, 2019, 09:23:23 PM »
Guess ..who's finally stopped smoking today...............  Thumbs:













Abu Bakr Al-BagHadai......... redface:

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5346 on: October 29, 2019, 09:32:19 PM »
Guess ..who's finally stopped smoking today...............  Thumbs:













Abu Bakr Al-BagHadai......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5347 on: October 29, 2019, 10:42:44 PM »
Guess ..who's finally stopped smoking today...............  Thumbs:













Abu Bakr Al-BagHadai......... redface:
lol: lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5348 on: October 30, 2019, 05:28:50 AM »
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5350 on: October 31, 2019, 09:56:28 AM »
Last Halloween there was a knock on the door. I looked out of the window and then shouted upstairs to my wife, "Honey there's a witch at the door. What shall I do?"

She shouted back, "Just give her some candy and tell her to get lost."

My mother-in-law hasn't spoken to me since.
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5351 on: October 31, 2019, 09:57:26 AM »
I asked my boss "What to do with a 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

He said "Just pop it in the Corner".

Four bloody hours it took me ..
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5352 on: October 31, 2019, 10:02:19 AM »
I asked my boss "What to do with a 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

He said "Just pop it in the Corner".

Four bloody hours it took me ..

 ;D noooo:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5353 on: October 31, 2019, 02:31:29 PM »
I asked my boss "What to do with a 6 metre roll of bubble wrap?"

He said "Just pop it in the Corner".

Four bloody hours it took me ..

 ;D noooo:
lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #5354 on: October 31, 2019, 02:51:57 PM »
^^^  lol: lol: lol: ^^^
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