Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

Paddy says to Murphy, "I hear that girl who played Pussy Galore in the Bond films has split her fanny open!"
Mick replies, "Honor Blackman?"

Paddy says, "No on a dildo!"

 

[Just One More]

[Barman]

 

[Steve]

Can I just ask everyone for a big favour?
Those of you who are planning to place Christmas lights/decorations in your gardens, can you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing?
Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and have a panic attack.
I have to take my foot off the accelerator, toss out my beer, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down and push the gun under the seat.
It's too much drama.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

[Barman]

Can I just ask everyone for a big favour?
Those of you who are planning to place Christmas lights/decorations in your gardens, can you please avoid anything that is red or blue and flashing?
Every time I drive by, I think it's the police and have a panic attack.
I have to take my foot off the accelerator, toss out my beer, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down and push the gun under the seat.
It's too much drama.
Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.

 

[Steve]

"It's times like these I wish we lived abroad," I said to my wife, staring out of the front window.
"Yeah, the weathers shit isn't it?" She replied.
"Not the weather," I said. "Your mother's coming up the fecking drive."
"Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door...
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah, I know.

[Barman]

"It's times like these I wish we lived abroad," I said to my wife, staring out of the front window.
"Yeah, the weathers shit isn't it?" She replied.
"Not the weather," I said. "Your mother's coming up the fecking drive."
"Diana!" I said, greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door...
She said, "My name's Anna."
I said, "Yeah, I know.

 

[apc2010]

[apc2010]

 

[Barman]

 

[apc2010]

 

[Steve]

 

[Darwins Selection]

 

[Just One More]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.

[Barman]

If anybody knows of any lonely old people who will be eating Christmas dinner alone because they have no family or close friends, can they let me know, I need to borrow some chairs.