I came home from work last night and told her that I'd been given a huge promotion at work which meant I got my own office and get to employ my own private secretary.
"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly," she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with."
"That's fair enough," I replied, "When can you start?"
I should be out of hospital in a few days
