Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

 

[Just One More]

Divers searching the stricken liner Costa Concordia have found two Glaswegians in the bar. They told the divers to f*ck off, they're on All Inclusive.


In bed watching the telly . There was a bulletin about the Costa Concordia and the presenter mentioned that it was lying on it's side with a gash the size of a tennis court . I just happened to glance at the wife . Boy did she kick off .


I phoned a toy shop earlier. "Do you have any Airfix models of Italian Cruise liners?" I asked.
"Yes, we've got one in stock" says the assistant.
"Excellent" says I. "Can you put it on one side for me?"


George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...

    

[Barman]

Divers searching the stricken liner Costa Concordia have found two Glaswegians in the bar. They told the divers to f*ck off, they're on All Inclusive.


In bed watching the telly . There was a bulletin about the Costa Concordia and the presenter mentioned that it was lying on it's side with a gash the size of a tennis court . I just happened to glance at the wife . Boy did she kick off .


I phoned a toy shop earlier. "Do you have any Airfix models of Italian Cruise liners?" I asked.
"Yes, we've got one in stock" says the assistant.
"Excellent" says I. "Can you put it on one side for me?"


George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...

    

[Uncle Mort]

George Michael has sympathised with the captain of the stricken Italian liner saying . . .
'I'm often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising...

 

 

[The Moan Ranger]

I told my wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage"

She said "Are you having me on ?"

I replied "I'll ask my boss, but so far they've all been thin and pretty"

[Barman]

I told my wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage"

She said "Are you having me on ?"

I replied "I'll ask my boss, but so far they've all been thin and pretty"

 

[Snoopy]

 

[Uncle Mort]

I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

[Barman]

I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

 

[Darwins Selection]

I bought the wife a Smart car


It keeps hiding from her.

 

[apc2010]

Latest news from the African Nations Cup :
6 stone 2 pounds Ugandan striker Bobo Umfoofoo was visibly upset during last nights game after chants from the Somalian crowd of "You fat bastard" and "Who ate all the flies"........

[Barman]

Latest news from the African Nations Cup :
6 stone 2 pounds Ugandan striker Bobo Umfoofoo was visibly upset during last nights game after chants from the Somalian crowd of "You fat bastard" and "Who ate all the flies"........

 

[Barman]

http://youtu.be/5JYzbzqYzm0

[Miss Demeanour]

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the 'Clio' and the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink. The average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on , even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning.

[Barman]

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women. Mixing the 'Clio' and the 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.

It comes in pink. The average male car thief won't be able to find it let alone turn it on , even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it. Rumour has it though that it leaks transmission fluid once a month and can be a real bitch to start in the morning.

AFFS!