Jock goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.
Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".
Jock says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".
Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year"
Mick says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th"
"Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
