Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 792614 times)

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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1635 on: September 03, 2012, 12:38:21 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1636 on: September 04, 2012, 03:42:04 PM »
Watching the paralympics has taught me so much about acceptance of other peoples different abilities but ..........

If I have discovered they can lift more, throw further and run faster than me, how comes they still get to park closer to the shops...........

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1637 on: September 04, 2012, 04:27:42 PM »
Watching the paralympics has taught me so much about acceptance of other peoples different abilities but ..........

If I have discovered they can lift more, throw further and run faster than me, how comes they still get to park closer to the shops...........

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1638 on: September 06, 2012, 11:54:33 AM »
A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot.
One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building
on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest
in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold,
more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They
chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch
breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel
important.

They even gave the child her very own hard hat and gloves,
which thrilled her immensely.

At the end of the first week, the smiling builders presented
her with a pay envelope - containing two pounds in 10p coins.
The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested
that they take the money to the bank the next day to open
a savings account.

At the bank, the female cashier was tickled pink listening to the little
girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she
had a 'pay packet'.

'You must have worked very hard to earn all this', said the cashier.
The little girl proudly replied, 'Yes, I worked every day with Steve and Wayne and Mike. We're building a big house.'

'My goodness gracious,' said the cashier, 'And will you be working on the house again next week?'

The child thought for a moment. Then she said seriously:

'I think so. Provided those wankers at Jewsons deliver the fucking bricks on time.'!!!!
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Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1639 on: September 06, 2012, 12:09:18 PM »
AFFS!

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1640 on: September 06, 2012, 12:10:05 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1641 on: September 06, 2012, 12:12:56 PM »
 Shrugs:



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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1642 on: September 08, 2012, 02:08:39 PM »

People often ask me which famous person I'd like to invite to dinner.

Easy I say. Professor Stephen Hawking.

Not for the intellectual stimulus and insights into the fascinating world of cosmology, though.

It just means I only have to do soup.,,,,,,,,,,,

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1643 on: September 08, 2012, 02:25:57 PM »
 tunble:
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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1644 on: September 09, 2012, 09:45:12 AM »
Not a joke, but stolen from another site I frequent where true stories that made you smile were being related...

A rather cynical man who worked with me ran out of fags, so he drove up to the local Morrisons. There was snow on the ground, but his addiction compelled him to go.

When he got to Morrisons, some kids in the car park started throwing snowballs at his car. Being a rather awkward Yorkshireman, he drove back to confront them. He saw that they had built a snowman, so he decided to destroy it. Shame it was built on top of a concrete bollard.

 happy001
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1645 on: September 09, 2012, 10:03:44 AM »
Not a joke, but stolen from another site I frequent where true stories that made you smile were being related...

A rather cynical man who worked with me ran out of fags, so he drove up to the local Morrisons. There was snow on the ground, but his addiction compelled him to go.

When he got to Morrisons, some kids in the car park started throwing snowballs at his car. Being a rather awkward Yorkshireman, he drove back to confront them. He saw that they had built a snowman, so he decided to destroy it. Shame it was built on top of a concrete bollard.

 happy001

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1646 on: September 09, 2012, 10:30:01 AM »
Not a joke, but stolen from another site I frequent where true stories that made you smile were being related...

A rather cynical man who worked with me ran out of fags, so he drove up to the local Morrisons. There was snow on the ground, but his addiction compelled him to go.

When he got to Morrisons, some kids in the car park started throwing snowballs at his car. Being a rather awkward Yorkshireman, he drove back to confront them. He saw that they had built a snowman, so he decided to destroy it. Shame it was built on top of a concrete bollard.

 happy001
lol: lol: lol:
I mostly despair

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #1647 on: September 13, 2012, 01:47:36 PM »


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Offline apc2010

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Offline Darwins Selection

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