Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

Strange ..................this year I've not heard .....A good night at the Oscars..........

 

[Steve]

What's got 2 legs and kills women ?

The Pistorius brothers....................

x 2

[Just One More]

  

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

[Barman]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

Two reasons:

1) She may fancy a snack later . . .     And
2) The joke wouldn't work if she didn't . . . 

OK?

[Barman]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

Two reasons:

1) She may fancy a snack later . . .     And
2) The joke wouldn't work if she didn't . . . 

OK?

Yes, I suppose.... 

I'm still not 100% happy tho - I'm gonna downgrade my  to 

[Darwins Selection]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

She is taking the other bag to the Ginsters sausage roll factory.

Walls only have ears.

[Barman]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

She is taking the other bag to the Ginsters sausage roll factory.

Walls only have ears.

 

[Baldy]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

She is taking the other bag to the Ginsters sausage roll factory.

Walls only have ears.

 

[Steve]

A sweet little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag."
 
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money?  You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course.

A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off.  Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?

So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or
off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
 

Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays." Said the sweet little old lady

 

 

Why would she be dragging both bags along the street....?

She is taking the other bag to the Ginsters sausage roll factory.

Walls only have ears.

       MG and DS

[apc2010]

Kate McCann's book about the disappearance of Madeleine is to be turned into a film.

Sources are unsure what certificate the movie will get , but say it is unlikely to be one for Parental Guidance.............

[Barman]

Kate McCann's book about the disappearance of Madeleine is to be turned into a film.

Sources are unsure what certificate the movie will get , but say it is unlikely to be one for Parental Guidance.............

 

[Baldy]

Kate McCann's book about the disappearance of Madeleine is to be turned into a film.

Sources are unsure what certificate the movie will get , but say it is unlikely to be one for Parental Guidance.............

 

[apc2010]

Egyptian balloon rides now sponsored by Pringles.................