Fresh from the Inbox

[apc2010]

UK-Jordan treaty to make deportation of Abu Qatada possible.

They must be smuggling him through customs in her C***............

[Steve]

[Barman]

UK-Jordan treaty to make deportation of Abu Qatada possible.

They must be smuggling him through customs in her C***............

 

[Barman]

    In Court the Judge says to a double-murder defendant.

    “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

    A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”

    The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten bastard!”

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,

    “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes but no more outbursts from you or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

    The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, “I’m Sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

 

[Steve]

    In Court the Judge says to a double-murder defendant.

    “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

    A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”

    The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten bastard!”

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,

    “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes but no more outbursts from you or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

    The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, “I’m Sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”

[Barman]

    In Court the Judge says to a double-murder defendant.

    “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”

    A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!”

    The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer.”

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, “You rotten bastard!”

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,

    “Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes but no more outbursts from you or I’ll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?”

    The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, “I’m Sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.”

Thank you Mr.Steve sir... obviously a man of class...

[Nick]

 

[Barman]

Humourless mong...

[Nick]

A lesbian made me do it

[Barman]

A lesbian made me do it

Do what? 

[Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)]

 

A lesbian made me do it

Do what? 

 

[Steve]

Top Speeding Hotspots In The UK
Top Five Speeding Convictions Of 2012

The Norfolk Constabulary clocked a car travelling at 161mph on the A47 last year, Confused.com has confirmed. Furthermore - based on information sent to the money saving firm via a freedom of information request – this was the most serious case of speeding in 2012. It was not, however, the only major incident. Warwickshire Police therefore caught a motorist travelling southbound at 141mph on the M6 Toll. Furthermore, Tayside Police intercepted a car that hit 138mph on the A933, and officers from the Hampshire Constabulary were none too impressed to see a motorist charging along the A31 at 137mph. Finally, Staffordshire Police stopped a vehicle travelling at 135mph on the A38 London Road.

Quick thoughts:

- we can do far betterer than that, can we borrow that SLK?
- so they do speed trap on the M6 Toll 
- but they didn't get me in me brothers Corvette then (wouldn't have made that top 5 anyway)

[Barman]

Top Speeding Hotspots In The UK
Top Five Speeding Convictions Of 2012

The Norfolk Constabulary clocked a car travelling at 161mph on the A47 last year, Confused.com has confirmed. Furthermore - based on information sent to the money saving firm via a freedom of information request – this was the most serious case of speeding in 2012. It was not, however, the only major incident. Warwickshire Police therefore caught a motorist travelling southbound at 141mph on the M6 Toll. Furthermore, Tayside Police intercepted a car that hit 138mph on the A933, and officers from the Hampshire Constabulary were none too impressed to see a motorist charging along the A31 at 137mph. Finally, Staffordshire Police stopped a vehicle travelling at 135mph on the A38 London Road.

Quick thoughts:

- we can do far betterer than that, can we borrow that SLK?
- so they do speed trap on the M6 Toll 
- but they didn't get me in me brothers Corvette then (wouldn't have made that top 5 anyway)

It took me a while to realise that the speedo was in MPH and not KPH....