Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 794055 times)

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Offline Marley's Ghost (Imbiber of Spirits)

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2235 on: June 16, 2013, 10:48:17 AM »
Found this today:



"Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." 

Well, someone had to say it!

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2236 on: June 16, 2013, 10:51:12 AM »
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2237 on: June 16, 2013, 11:56:19 AM »
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2238 on: June 16, 2013, 11:59:34 AM »
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2239 on: June 16, 2013, 12:04:09 PM »
My wife said she wanted to have a serious talk to me about our relationship.

We had a nice meal and some wine and then she started. "I think we need to decide in what direction our relationship is going." "I feel we are at a crossroads; one path leads to hardship and commitment but, ultimately, to happiness and joy; the other, well, it just leads to a dead end." She paused. "So what do you say?"

I replied ' That's not a crossroad that's a T junction you stupid fucking bitch'
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Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2240 on: June 16, 2013, 12:04:44 PM »
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."

 happy001
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2241 on: June 16, 2013, 12:07:53 PM »
I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle my coke through customs by sticking it up her arse.
I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.

 ;D ;D

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2242 on: June 16, 2013, 12:45:37 PM »
My wife said she wanted to have a serious talk to me about our relationship.

We had a nice meal and some wine and then she started. "I think we need to decide in what direction our relationship is going." "I feel we are at a crossroads; one path leads to hardship and commitment but, ultimately, to happiness and joy; the other, well, it just leads to a dead end." She paused. "So what do you say?"

I replied ' That's not a crossroad that's a T junction you stupid fucking bitch'

 happy001
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2243 on: June 16, 2013, 12:49:50 PM »

So, let me get this straight. You boast that you shagged my Mum, and I'm supposed to get you a card to say 'thanks'?,,,,,,,,,

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2244 on: June 16, 2013, 01:10:59 PM »

So, let me get this straight. You boast that you shagged my Mum, and I'm supposed to get you a card to say 'thanks'?,,,,,,,,,

She did . . .  .
I mostly despair

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2245 on: June 16, 2013, 01:45:03 PM »

So, let me get this straight. You boast that you shagged my Mum, and I'm supposed to get you a card to say 'thanks'?,,,,,,,,,

She did . . .  .

 lol: lol:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2246 on: June 16, 2013, 03:51:57 PM »
I have just lost the money for my wife's epilepsy prescription at the bookmakers!

She will have a fit when she finds out...
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Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2247 on: June 16, 2013, 04:01:16 PM »
I have just lost the money for my wife's epilepsy prescription at the bookmakers!

She will have a fit when she finds out...

 lol: lol: lol:   noooo:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2248 on: June 16, 2013, 04:02:10 PM »
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline Steve

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Well, whatever, nevermind