Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 793867 times)

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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2385 on: July 20, 2013, 05:01:23 PM »
I see DS is a fellow sufferer of the Royal Mail  evil:
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2386 on: July 20, 2013, 05:03:34 PM »
I see DS is a fellow sufferer of the Royal Mail  evil:
Isn't everybody?
I mostly despair

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2387 on: July 21, 2013, 08:08:49 AM »
My wife staggered in the door at seven o'clock this morning, hair all over the place and limping.

"Jane, what the fuck happened to you?" I asked

"Black guy with huge cock in the park," she replied, holding her crotch.

"Oh my god! Do you think you could identify him?"

"I fucking hope so," she replied. "I'm meeting him again tonight."
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2388 on: July 21, 2013, 08:16:29 AM »
My wife staggered in the door at seven o'clock this morning, hair all over the place and limping.

"Jane, what the fuck happened to you?" I asked

"Black guy with huge cock in the park," she replied, holding her crotch.

"Oh my god! Do you think you could identify him?"

"I fucking hope so," she replied. "I'm meeting him again tonight."

 happy001 happy001 happy001
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2389 on: July 21, 2013, 08:17:00 AM »
My wife staggered in the door at seven o'clock this morning, hair all over the place and limping.

"Jane, what the fuck happened to you?" I asked

"Black guy with huge cock in the park," she replied, holding her crotch.

"Oh my god! Do you think you could identify him?"

"I fucking hope so," she replied. "I'm meeting him again tonight."

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2390 on: July 21, 2013, 09:15:33 AM »
My wife staggered in the door at seven o'clock this morning, hair all over the place and limping.

"Jane, what the fuck happened to you?" I asked

"Black guy with huge cock in the park," she replied, holding her crotch.

"Oh my god! Do you think you could identify him?"

"I fucking hope so," she replied. "I'm meeting him again tonight."

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2391 on: July 21, 2013, 10:24:39 AM »
My wife staggered in the door at seven o'clock this morning, hair all over the place and limping.

"Jane, what the fuck happened to you?" I asked

"Black guy with huge cock in the park," she replied, holding her crotch.

"Oh my god! Do you think you could identify him?"

"I fucking hope so," she replied. "I'm meeting him again tonight."

 happy001 happy001 happy001

 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2392 on: July 21, 2013, 11:58:19 AM »
My young nephew asked me how babies are made.

I had no idea how to approach the subject so I looked online and found a video that explained it all.

At the end of the video I told him "Its basically like that only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny and normally there isn't a horse involved"
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Offline Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2393 on: July 21, 2013, 11:59:36 AM »
SO that is where I was going wrong.
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2394 on: July 21, 2013, 12:01:39 PM »
My young nephew asked me how babies are made.

I had no idea how to approach the subject so I looked online and found a video that explained it all.

At the end of the video I told him "Its basically like that only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny and normally there isn't a horse involved"

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2395 on: July 21, 2013, 12:39:40 PM »
 lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2396 on: July 21, 2013, 01:03:06 PM »
My young nephew asked me how babies are made.

I had no idea how to approach the subject so I looked online and found a video that explained it all.

At the end of the video I told him "Its basically like that only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny and normally there isn't a horse involved"

 lol: lol: lol:
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2397 on: July 21, 2013, 02:28:27 PM »
My young nephew asked me how babies are made.

I had no idea how to approach the subject so I looked online and found a video that explained it all.

At the end of the video I told him "Its basically like that only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny and normally there isn't a horse involved"

 shutup: shutup: nonono:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2398 on: July 22, 2013, 08:13:36 PM »
Dear Mum,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps.. It was great. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put petrol on a fire, it will blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a super bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are huge logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids.. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast , so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works. Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2399 on: July 22, 2013, 08:17:09 PM »
 lol: lol: lol: