Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 793207 times)

0 Members and 24 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64176
  • Reputation: -4
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 11836
  • Reputation: 3
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2656 on: October 04, 2013, 10:57:03 PM »
THE NUN AND THE HIPPIE

A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun.
He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"

"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."
She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says:
"I can tell you how to get to have sex with her!"

"Yeah?", says the hippie.

"Yeah!", say the bus driver.
"She goes to the cemetery every Tuesday night at midnight to pray, So all you have to do is dress up in a robe with a hood, Put some of that luminous powder stuff in your beard, And pop up in the cemetery claiming to be God."

The hippie decides to give it a try, and arrives in the cemetery dressed as suggested on the next Tuesday night.

"I am God," he declares to the nun, keeping the hood low about his Face.
"Have sex with me."

The nun agrees without question,
But begs him to restrict himself to anal sex,
As she is desperate not to lose her virginity.

'God' agrees, and promptly has his wicked way with her.
As he finishes, he jumps up and throws back his hood with a flourish.

"Ha-ha," he cries. "I'm the hippie!"

"Ha-ha," cries the nun. "I'm the bus driver!

 
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154190
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline The Moan Ranger

  • Administrator
  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 13952
  • Reputation: 1
  • No surrender
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2658 on: October 08, 2013, 11:33:34 AM »
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154190
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2659 on: October 08, 2013, 11:35:14 AM »
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

happy001
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Baldy

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 14085
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2660 on: October 08, 2013, 12:09:37 PM »
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64176
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2661 on: October 08, 2013, 12:13:33 PM »
If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?

 lol: lol: lol:
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Baldy

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 14085
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2662 on: October 08, 2013, 01:33:58 PM »
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.


After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile. 
"There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!
There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!


And Me - I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2663 on: October 08, 2013, 01:46:26 PM »
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.


After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile. 
"There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!
There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!


And Me - I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.

 ;D ;D

Offline Barman

  • Administrator
  • Needs to get out more...
  • *****
  • Posts: 154190
  • Reputation: -50
  • Since 1960...
    • Virtual Pub!
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2664 on: October 08, 2013, 01:50:25 PM »
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.


After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile. 
"There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!
There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!


And Me - I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.

 lol: lol: lol:
Pro Skub  Thumbs:

Offline Steve

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 64176
  • Reputation: -4
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2665 on: October 08, 2013, 06:02:09 PM »
An Arab family was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian home.


After a few weeks in the Italian facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asked the grandson
"It's wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," said grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you are a little different from everyone."

"Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents," Abdullah said with a big smile. 
"There's a musician here - he's 85 years old. He hasn't played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro!
There is a judge in here - he's 95 years old. He hasn't been on the bench in 30 years and everyone still calls him Your Honor!
There's a dentist here - 90 years old. He hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!


And Me - I haven't had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.

 lol: lol: lol:
happy001
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline Darwins Selection

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 39138
  • Reputation: 6
  • I mostly despair
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2666 on: October 09, 2013, 07:47:19 AM »
I mostly despair

Offline Nick

  • Needs to get out more...
  • ******
  • Posts: 109305
  • Reputation: -115
Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Offline apc2010

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 66192
  • Reputation: -2

Offline Just One More

  • Power Poster
  • *****
  • Posts: 26767
  • Reputation: 0
Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2669 on: October 09, 2013, 05:09:51 PM »
Definitely AFFS  noooo:
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie