Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 793122 times)

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Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2700 on: October 22, 2013, 07:09:09 PM »
 lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:  lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2701 on: October 22, 2013, 10:38:19 PM »

I honestly don't know how the Paki in our corner shop can follow the rules of the Quran.......


The cunt can't even follow the rule of "multi-pack, not to be sold separately"......

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2702 on: October 23, 2013, 12:49:06 AM »

I honestly don't know how the Paki in our corner shop can follow the rules of the Quran.......


The cunt can't even follow the rule of "multi-pack, not to be sold separately"......

 lol: lol: lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2703 on: October 23, 2013, 06:26:36 AM »

I honestly don't know how the Paki in our corner shop can follow the rules of the Quran.......


The cunt can't even follow the rule of "multi-pack, not to be sold separately"......

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Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2704 on: October 23, 2013, 07:00:38 PM »

I honestly don't know how the Paki in our corner shop can follow the rules of the Quran.......


The cunt can't even follow the rule of "multi-pack, not to be sold separately"......

 lol: lol: lol:
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2705 on: October 25, 2013, 12:34:26 PM »
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So, why are you here?"

The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything...the sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab, "they reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.               

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper,"  said the Great Dane.  "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

 
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2706 on: October 25, 2013, 12:35:37 PM »
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So, why are you here?"

The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything...the sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab, "they reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.               

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper,"  said the Great Dane.  "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2707 on: October 25, 2013, 12:38:10 PM »
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So, why are you here?"

The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything...the sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab, "they reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.               

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper,"  said the Great Dane.  "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
happy002 happy002 happy002
Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline boogs

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2708 on: October 26, 2013, 03:02:46 PM »
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck up a conversation.

The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So, why are you here?"

The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything...the sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"

"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the yellow Lab, "they reckon it'll calm me down."

The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"

The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."

"So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.

"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.               

The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"

"I'm a humper,"  said the Great Dane.  "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, I want to hump everything I see.
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"

The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

 lol: lol: lol: lol:
happy002 happy002 happy002

 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001 happy001
You only get one chance at this life so make the most of it .

Offline beerhead

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2709 on: October 27, 2013, 08:32:41 PM »
AFFS !
Not quite a regular ! Regular as clockwork me !

Offline The Moan Ranger

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2710 on: October 29, 2013, 09:21:20 AM »
"...very dark, is the other side, very dark."

"Shut up, Yoda. Just eat your fucking toast."




Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.

When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a cheese and tomato pizza.

"I haven't ordered any pizzas," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch."

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2711 on: October 29, 2013, 10:27:24 AM »
"...very dark, is the other side, very dark."

"Shut up, Yoda. Just eat your fucking toast."




Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.

When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a cheese and tomato pizza.

"I haven't ordered any pizzas," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch."

 lol: lol:

Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2712 on: October 29, 2013, 11:56:27 AM »
Some of them really do need a proof reader. . .

Quote
"Enjoy a 5" luxury holiday in the sun from just £199"


Perhaps I should forward it to Boogs.  ;)
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Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2713 on: October 29, 2013, 12:03:11 PM »
Some of them really do need a proof reader. . .

Quote
"Enjoy a 5" luxury holiday in the sun from just £199"


Perhaps I should forward it to Boogs.  ;)




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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #2714 on: October 29, 2013, 12:10:06 PM »
"...very dark, is the other side, very dark."

"Shut up, Yoda. Just eat your fucking toast."




Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.

When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino's holding a cheese and tomato pizza.

"I haven't ordered any pizzas," I said. "This must be a mistake."

"I know," he replied. "Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch."

 lol: lol:
lol: lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind