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Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 791913 times)

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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3075 on: February 12, 2014, 05:47:28 PM »
Miss Fanny Green

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession... I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Fanny Green?'

'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.

'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Mary's.;

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall,
Voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart, but just enough to realize she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest half turned to the altar boy and whispered out the side of his mouth, 'Is that Fanny Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'


Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3076 on: February 12, 2014, 05:49:22 PM »
 ;D ;D

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3077 on: February 12, 2014, 05:49:57 PM »
 lol:

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3078 on: February 13, 2014, 02:33:57 AM »
Not sure if it is an AFFS.

Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London.

Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Ali 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Ali says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says ...'So what does your sign say'?

Ali shows Habib his sign ....

It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan '.

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3079 on: February 13, 2014, 05:23:15 AM »
Not sure if it is an AFFS.

Ali and Habib are beggars. They beg in different areas of London.

Habib begs just as long as Ali does, but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Ali 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Ali says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3

Habib says ...'So what does your sign say'?

Ali shows Habib his sign ....

It reads, 'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan '.

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3080 on: February 13, 2014, 06:18:44 PM »
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3081 on: February 13, 2014, 06:29:50 PM »
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3082 on: February 13, 2014, 06:40:19 PM »
A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab Muslim asked him, "What are you doing? "

The cabbie answered, "In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so piss off and wait for a camel!"

 ;D ;D ;D

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3083 on: February 13, 2014, 09:23:14 PM »
Ever since Live Aid in 1985, Britain has gifted millions of pounds worth of aid to Ethiopia.....

So a few bags of your sand would be nice........ Thumbs:


Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3084 on: February 14, 2014, 05:23:23 AM »
Ever since Live Aid in 1985, Britain has gifted millions of pounds worth of aid to Ethiopia.....

So a few bags of your sand would be nice........ Thumbs:

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3085 on: February 14, 2014, 09:44:31 AM »
Ever since Live Aid in 1985, Britain has gifted millions of pounds worth of aid to Ethiopia.....

So a few bags of your sand would be nice........ Thumbs:

 lol: lol:

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3086 on: February 20, 2014, 08:00:29 AM »
I was in a bad car accident last week and police have been examining the skid-marks to investigate what happened.

So far they have worked out that the other driver was more scared than me.
LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Baldy

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3087 on: February 20, 2014, 08:22:34 AM »
I was in a bad car accident last week and police have been examining the skid-marks to investigate what happened.

So far they have worked out that the other driver was more scared than me.

 lol:

Offline Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3088 on: February 20, 2014, 10:52:43 AM »
I was in a bad car accident last week and police have been examining the skid-marks to investigate what happened.

So far they have worked out that the other driver was more scared than me.

 lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3089 on: February 20, 2014, 11:52:58 AM »
I was in a bad car accident last week and police have been examining the skid-marks to investigate what happened.

So far they have worked out that the other driver was more scared than me.

 lol:
lol: lol:
Well, whatever, nevermind