Fresh from the Inbox

[apc2010]

 

[Darwins Selection]

 

[Barman]

 

[Steve]

 

[Baldy]

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked  across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather

were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fekin idiot!"

[apc2010]

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked  across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather

were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fekin idiot!"

 

[Darwins Selection]

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked  across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather

were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fekin idiot!"

 

 

[Barman]

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked  across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat .... and nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather

were all born in December when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fekin idiot!"

 

 

 

[apc2010]

The McCanns are hoping for some good news from Portugal soon. Apparently in someone's cellar they might have found.......



.

...some more of the excellent Merlot they were drinking 7 years ago while someone took their kid.......

[Baldy]

The McCanns are hoping for some good news from Portugal soon. Apparently in someone's cellar they might have found.......



.

...some more of the excellent Merlot they were drinking 7 years ago while someone took their kid.......

 

[Barman]

The McCanns are hoping for some good news from Portugal soon. Apparently in someone's cellar they might have found.......



.

...some more of the excellent Merlot they were drinking 7 years ago while someone took their kid.......

 

[Nick]

 

[Baldy]

Neighbour

I  woke for a visit to the toilet in the middle of the night and  noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.
Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.
 
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel. 
Astonished  I got back into bed.
My wife said, 'darling you're shaking, what is  it?'
'You'll  never believe what I've just seen' I  said,
 
'That  Bastard next door has still got my shovel  !!!'

[Barman]

Neighbour

I  woke for a visit to the toilet in the middle of the night and  noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.
Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.
 
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel. 
Astonished  I got back into bed.
My wife said, 'darling you're shaking, what is  it?'
'You'll  never believe what I've just seen' I  said,
 
'That  Bastard next door has still got my shovel  !!!'

 

[Steve]

A man from Kuala Lumpur told his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for a few days.  He informed her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.


She gave him a lift to the airport. He waved goodbye as he disappeared through the airport doors.
Two hours later the wife got a phone call saying "We are up in the air, see you in four days"



Now, he's been stuck for 12 weeks in his girlfriend's house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home.