Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

A man from Kuala Lumpur told his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for a few days.  He informed her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.


She gave him a lift to the airport. He waved goodbye as he disappeared through the airport doors.
Two hours later the wife got a phone call saying "We are up in the air, see you in four days"



Now, he's been stuck for 12 weeks in his girlfriend's house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home.

 

[Nick]

 

[Darwins Selection]

A man from Kuala Lumpur told his wife that he has a business appointment in Beijing for a few days.  He informed her that he will fly on Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.


She gave him a lift to the airport. He waved goodbye as he disappeared through the airport doors.
Two hours later the wife got a phone call saying "We are up in the air, see you in four days"



Now, he's been stuck for 12 weeks in his girlfriend's house and doesn't have the faintest idea how to go home.

 

[apc2010]

I was astonished to learn that the meat in in Subway was slaughtered in a traditional Muslim way......





How do they fit a rucksack on a cow?..............

[apc2010]

  Today, I was browsing porn sites in Nigeria..........






The popup advert said, "There are no local girls in your area."...........

[Barman]

  Today, I was browsing porn sites in Nigeria..........






The popup advert said, "There are no local girls in your area."...........

 

[Nick]

 

[apc2010]

First the Malaysian airliner disappears and now these 200 Nigerian schoolgirls have been kidnapped.........


I'm beginning to doubt they'll ever find a black box intact ........

[Steve]

 

[Barman]

First the Malaysian airliner disappears and now these 200 Nigerian schoolgirls have been kidnapped.........


I'm beginning to doubt they'll ever find a black box intact ........

 

[Baldy]

First the Malaysian airliner disappears and now these 200 Nigerian schoolgirls have been kidnapped.........


I'm beginning to doubt they'll ever find a black box intact ........

 

 

[Just One More]

What goes,
O2 Surprises
O2 Surprises
O2 Top-Up
O2 Surprises?

A ginger's text message inbox. 

[Just One More]

I said to my son, "Where you going?"
He said, "I'm off to meet a girl."
I said, "Don't forget to wear a... you know."
He said, "What?"
I said, "You know."
He said, "Do you mean a condom?"

I said, "No, a fucking hat you ginger c**t."   

[Just One More]

Q: What do gingers look forward to later on in life?

A: Grey Hair     

[Just One More]

A man goes on a golfing holiday leaving his wife home alone. Half way through the holiday he gets a call from his next door neighbour. "Albert I got some terrible news for you. Your wife has hung herself on the washing line".
"Oh my god" said Albert "that's awful". I'm here enjoying myself and that has happened"
He went quiet for a second then said to his neighbour.
"Joe please can you do me a favour."?
"Yes anything" said Joe.

"Thanks Joe, if it rains can you take her in for me"