Fresh from the Inbox

[Barman]

Japanese sex argument

A Japanese couple are having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :
Husband: Sukitaki. mojitaka
Wife replies: Kowanini! mowi janakpa
Husband says angrily: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!
Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!
Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina Tim kouji!
I can't believe you just sat and tried to read this -- as if you understand Japanese!
You'll read anything as long as it is about sex .
You need serious help!! Sometimes I worry about you.

 

 

[Just One More]

  

[Darwins Selection]

Japanese sex argument

A Japanese couple are having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex :
Husband: Sukitaki. mojitaka
Wife replies: Kowanini! mowi janakpa
Husband says angrily: Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!
Wife on her knees literally begging: Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!
Husband replies angrily: Na miaou kina Tim kouji!
I can't believe you just sat and tried to read this -- as if you understand Japanese!
You'll read anything as long as it is about sex .
You need serious help!! Sometimes I worry about you.

 

 

An offer of rodi roumi yakoo is not to be sneezed at. All the rage in my younger years. 

[Just One More]

The missus has just come into the living room wearing a little PVC number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'

I can't wait, I fucking love shepherd's Pie.

[Barman]

The missus has just come into the living room wearing a little PVC number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'

I can't wait, I fucking love shepherd's Pie.

[apc2010]

The missus has just come into the living room wearing a little PVC number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'

I can't wait, I fucking love shepherd's Pie.

 

[Baldy]

The missus has just come into the living room wearing a little PVC number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'

I can't wait, I fucking love shepherd's Pie.

 

[Steve]

The missus has just come into the living room wearing a little PVC number, fishnets and high heels, has handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'

I can't wait, I fucking love shepherd's Pie.

 

[Darwins Selection]

Earlier on, I received a newsletter-type e-mail to a long list of people, from a woman involved in 'saving the environment'. It mentioned a long list of good things done by various people, including a chap I know vaguely called Max Moon.

She had made a typo and referred to him as Wax Moon.

In my usual way, I sent her a light-hearted reply enquiring if Mr Moon had a son called Wayne.


Her reply:

Dear Darwin,

Thanks for the mail.

I am fairly sure his son is called Thomas.

 

[Nick]

You are such a wag, Mr Darwin, sir 

[Barman]

Earlier on, I received a newsletter-type e-mail to a long list of people, from a woman involved in 'saving the environment'. It mentioned a long list of good things done by various people, including a chap I know vaguely called Max Moon.

She had made a typo and referred to him as Wax Moon.

In my usual way, I sent her a light-hearted reply enquiring if Mr Moon had a son called Wayne.


Her reply:

Dear Darwin,

Thanks for the mail.

I am fairly sure his son is called Thomas.

 

 

[Steve]

Earlier on, I received a newsletter-type e-mail to a long list of people, from a woman involved in 'saving the environment'. It mentioned a long list of good things done by various people, including a chap I know vaguely called Max Moon.

She had made a typo and referred to him as Wax Moon.

In my usual way, I sent her a light-hearted reply enquiring if Mr Moon had a son called Wayne.


Her reply:

Dear Darwin,

Thanks for the mail.

I am fairly sure his son is called Thomas.

 

 

[Barman]

With the new Scottish drink limits upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you about drinking and driving. As you may know some people have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several whiskies followed by a couple of bottles of some rather nice claret. Feeling a tad jolly I still had the sense to know that I might be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a taxi home. Sure enough on the way back there was a police road block but since it was a taxi they waved it past.

I therefore arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never before driven a taxi, I don't know where I got it from and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.

[Just One More]

 

[apc2010]

With the new Scottish drink limits upon us I would like to share a personal experience with you about drinking and driving. As you may know some people have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several whiskies followed by a couple of bottles of some rather nice claret. Feeling a tad jolly I still had the sense to know that I might be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a taxi home. Sure enough on the way back there was a police road block but since it was a taxi they waved it past.

I therefore arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never before driven a taxi, I don't know where I got it from and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.

Insert bus.............AFFS..........