Disgusterous

Author Topic: Fresh from the Inbox  (Read 790349 times)

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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3750 on: July 26, 2015, 02:47:46 PM »
Ironic a bottle of rohypnol has best before date on it...

 ;D ;D ;D

Online Nick

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3751 on: July 26, 2015, 04:19:14 PM »


Warning: May contain Skub
Cat sitter extraordinaire
Semi-professional crocodile

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3752 on: July 27, 2015, 03:30:03 AM »
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Offline Darwins Selection

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3753 on: July 31, 2015, 10:33:46 PM »
A bit Affs maybe, but I am sure some new ones have been added.

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The world economy explained with just two cows...

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. 

You give one to your neighbour. 

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows 

The State takes both and gives you some milk. 

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. 

The State takes both and sells you some milk. 

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. 

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away. 

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. 

You sell one and buy a bull. 

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. 

You sell them and retire on the income. 

VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. 

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. 

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. 

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. 

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died. 

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. 

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are. 

You decide to have lunch. 

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. 

You charge the owners for storing them. 

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

You have 300 people milking them. 

You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. 

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

You worship them. 

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

Both are mad. 

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. 

You tell them that you have none. 

Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. 

You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy. 

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

Business seems pretty good. 

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. 

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. 

The one on the left looks very attractive. 

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks. 

You eat both of them. 

The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF. 

The IMF loans you two cows. 

You eat both of them. 

The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk. 

You are out getting a haircut.


AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
 
One of them is a horse.

 
I mostly despair

Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3754 on: July 31, 2015, 10:45:12 PM »
 lol: lol: lol:  very topical update
Well, whatever, nevermind

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3755 on: August 01, 2015, 04:00:25 AM »
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3756 on: August 07, 2015, 12:58:05 PM »
The Bin Laden family really should have remembered that they never taught their pilots how to actually land planes........


(not so fresh  redface: )..


Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3757 on: August 07, 2015, 01:00:11 PM »
The Bin Laden family really should have remembered that they never taught their pilots how to actually land planes........


(not so fresh  redface: )..

 lol: lol: lol:
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Offline Steve

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3758 on: August 08, 2015, 10:27:12 AM »
New TV Campaign

To be shown all over Africa, asking them to send £3 a month so that the people of Lancashire can have clean drinking water.

Well, whatever, nevermind

Offline beerhead

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3759 on: August 08, 2015, 01:27:22 PM »
The only Australian who won't definitely be out by lunchtime is Rolf Harris.
Not quite a regular ! Regular as clockwork me !

Online Barman

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3760 on: August 08, 2015, 02:28:27 PM »
The only Australian who won't definitely be out by lunchtime is Rolf Harris.

AFFS!  whistle:

http://www.virtual-pub.com/SMF/index.php?topic=13097.msg568896#msg568896
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Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3761 on: August 08, 2015, 02:32:06 PM »

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3762 on: August 09, 2015, 10:12:07 PM »


LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline Just One More

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3763 on: August 09, 2015, 10:13:26 PM »


LiFe - It's an "F" in lie

Offline apc2010

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Re: Fresh from the Inbox
« Reply #3764 on: August 09, 2015, 10:30:56 PM »